Stop. Reflect. Find an Answer

What is going on? Why is it that I cannot get out of bed in the morning except for just in time to get ready to class - and walk in just before (or after) the bell rings?


"Unless you try to do more than you can, you will never do all that you can."


 I don’t recall where this quote came from, but I know I remember seeing it before, maybe as a freshman. It is what comes to mind when I think about all that I amdoing in life right now, which does not seem like much, especially in comparison to previous semesters or earlier this semester alone. I figured out just the other day that the semester I was enrolled in the fewest hours was my semester with my worst GPA.  So what is going on?

That’s a good question. I wish I knew myself. I’ve known for awhile now that I just haven’t really been on my game. I had the chance to stop and reflect for a little while last night. As Catholics, the sacrament of Reconciliation really gives us a chance to stop, reflect, and consider our actions. Are we doing everything possible on our path towards heaven? Or is our path and actions leading us in another direction?

This past summer, I had the opportunity to teach Totus Tuus camp for the Diocese of Wichita. Located near Lyons, KS, Camp WaJaTo was the home to my teammates and I, for four nights and five days a week for eight weeks of the summer, along with many campers.  This summer included a lot of time in the chapel, whether for mass, Liturgy of the Hours, or simple adoration.  The priest in charge of the camp challenged my teammates and I to spend a half hour in adoration every day during our off weeks (ladies pray for the gentlemen when boys were at camp, gentlemen pray for the ladies when girls were at camp) and for an hour each day on the weekends. Pair this with daily mass, a daily rosary, chaplet of Divine Mercy, morning, evening, and night prayer, and the Angelus, it was quite the prayerful experience.

I admit that leaving that atmosphere and my teammates was a big challenge. Five months later, I’m still feeling the effects of struggling to maintain a strong prayer life. Without a group to support you who say all the prayers that you say, it is really easy to get burnt out, or simply give up. While I have not given up completely, I’ve lost a lot of the motivation that I had both during the summer and prior to my Totus Tuus experience.

What is the solution to my lack of desire to get up in the morning? I think the answer is more structure to my prayer life. Perhaps it’s an accountability partner. Maybe it is simply reconnecting once again with my teammates from this summer.

As a college student, my days are never the same. I get five hours of sleep one night, eight the next, five the following, and nine the next. There is very little consistency beyond class and work. Help me, Oh Lord, to see ways to improve my daily life and continue to grow in your love.