I Go Back

Many of us know the words to this song by Kenny Chesney. "I go back to a two-tone short bed Chevy, driving my first love out to the levy, living life with no sense of time. I go back to a fifty-yard line..." Tonight, that song has more relevance for me than it ever has

This evening was the annual Harvest Ball for the C-vale FFA Chapter. Costumes, musical chairs, bobbing for apples, hay-rack rides, a bonfire and smores about sums up the evening. The part I wasn't really prepared for before tonight was the memories that came flooding back from my own high school experience as I witnessed the personalities of my students come alive outside of the classroom. Not to mention two freshmen holding hands as they parted this evening, which caught me by surprise. I had no idea they were a couple. Only five years removed from my senior year, I am still trying to grasp what it is like to be in high school. Why? So I can better relate to my students. 

As I was parting ways with my cooperating teacher this evening after cleaning up, I mentioned that the event took me back to my high school days. "Makes us who we are," was her reply. Isn't that true?

I'm sure that my high school experience differs from many peoples. But at the same time, we all probably experienced some of the same things. I recall the classes, from English and biology, world history, American government, introduction to agriculture, chemistry and physics to agriculture business... each was an opportunity to learn something. I'm sure I did not see it that way at the time. I cannot recall any specific content I learned, while I might be able to describe some of the concepts and titles of books we read. I can remember the teachers, and how dedicated they were to helping students learn. (That's a whole other blog.)

I also remember the people; my friends, the nerds, the jocks, the druggies, the aggies, the churchy-kind, etc. Yup, even with only about 100 kids in the high school, we still had our clicks. I remember the older kids I looked up to, like Maria, Andrea, Kristin and Cecilia. I remember the kids that hardly any one ever talked to, like Matthew and Roberta. I remember many of us getting wrapped up in high school relationships. And I was one of those girls. 

As a freshmen, I started dating a junior. Our volleyball coach had a rule that you didn't start a relationship during volleyball season, and you didn't end a relationship during volleyball season. You stuck it out. Funny how the day we lost our last volleyball match of the season at regionals, that late October Tuesday, Aaron asked me at. Hmm. I think I was even still wearing my volleyball uniform. Oh to be young again, and as careless... the things that went through my mind, and what was important at the time... Aaron and I dated through February of my junior year - well over two years. He was at college, and when two people are that far away from each other, it is tough to keep a relationship going.

I have learned many a things since those naive days of high school relationships and social life. I can look back and see the lessons and realizations since then. The main thing I learned from dating Aaron is that I never wanted to date someone who loved fishing and hunting more than me. But you cannot tell those kinds of things to a high school student now. They essentially have to learn those lessons on their own. I see students blind to their situations. I want to help them. Oh to find a way without turning them away... 

"But like most things, after the truth upsets you, it has the potential to set you free."

How many times did my FFA advisor ask me why I was dating Aaron? How many times did he tell me I was too good for him? How many times did he said that if he were in high school again, I was the kind of girl he would date? (not in a creeper sort of way) He was right, but I did not want to see it then. But I don't regret the relationship.

Sure many high school students are doing the right things and experiencing harmless relationships that will teach them lessons for life. Other high school students are caught up in poorer, less than healthy situations. Until I have a better understanding of them, I am most likely not going to be able to reach them. This opportunity to reflect is helping me to be more aware of what a typical high school student really cares about. I needed that reminder. Their lives are being molded and shaped every day. And so is mine. Lord, help me to help them as much as you want me to.