You Are Human

It's been a difficult Saturday in some ways, and looking better yet in other ways. My intentions were to get started like a typical school day, rising at the same time and keeping my morning routines in hopes a developing habits that are easier to make happen. 

Hasn't happened. Imagine that. I made a trip to visit several stores today, not making any purchases, but mostly getting estimates for making electricity demonstration circuit boards for my agriculture power class. That process has been a bit stressful in itself this week. I look forward to having all the supplies and putting it all together; for it to be done. Mostly, I don't like being forced to realize how little I know about this subject. Yet, I am learning and it is good. I also walked through a furniture store, day-dreaming of purchasing a comfortable couch for a real home. Pair the furniture with all the home fixings of Lowe's and what do you get? A reminder to be patient for God's will to come to fruition in my life. All things in His time. (If it takes me ten years to pay off my college loans, I'm not going to being entering into a novitiate any time soon...)

After returning from my window shopping excursion, I sat down to lunch over some reading. Some how this turned into a two-hour nap on the couch. Ugh. I wanted to spend some time at school this afternoon planning for the coming weeks. While I still did spend some time at school, I came back to begin warming some leftovers for supper and to do dishes. While standing at the sink, beating myself up over my day, I finally told myself (or perhaps God was telling me), "Jackie, you are human. You are not perfect. Stop expecting so much of yourself." 

From the Imitation of Christ, Book 3, Chapter 57:3. "Keep yourself calm and even prepare yourself to undergo great suffering. All is not lost just because you find yourself often in trouble and grievously tempted. Remember, you are human and not God; you are flesh and blood and not an angel." 

 

We had a snow day on Thursday. God has proved time and time again that He gives me what I need when I need it. Did I need the snow day? I didn't think so, but maybe I did. Do I need rest today? I guess so. The other thing to remember - it's not all about me. Thursday gave me an opportunity to catch up on my "life to-do" list, not just my "school to-do" list. I made contact with a few people I had not talked to for a few weeks, made a few preparations for a bridal shower and checked off a bridesmaid to-do. I've not been very good about asking God what he wants me to put on my to-d0 list...

God, help me as I continue to strive for virtue, to grow in holiness, and to do your will. I praise you for all the promptings of grace you have given to me. Help me to be grateful for all your blessings. Aww-spiration.