Exactly Where I'm Supposed to Be

On a Saturday evening in late September, I'm sitting in the high school agricultural education classroom lesson planning. Nerd? I think so. Well maybe just a little. I want to follow up on my blog post from Wednesday. It seems my life has kind of taken a 180 degree turn in the last couple of days. And it's a great mental break from thinking about the classes I'm teaching.

Having lived in southeast Kansas for just over a month now, God has already enlightened me in many ways. We all know that hindsight is 20/20, at least when we can see the whole picture. As I look back on the content I've taught to my Introduction to Agriculture students, I can see how what I thought they should already know is not as realistic as it could be. Also, I can envision what needs to happen before Greenhand Conference four days from now.  Once we understand where we have been, it's easier to take strides forward, rather than baby steps.

My cooperating teacher is wonderful. She's an established teacher who knows the content well, has great rapport with her students, and knows what works in this environment and community.  What's the issue? In my three weeks of teaching, I've tried to teach her way, not my way. It was making me miserable. Trying to keep going and survive each day, I did not enough have the chance to step back and take a look at my situation. Time and time again, it seems, I re-learn the lesson to be myself. After receiving a sort of pep talk from my professor, my confidence sky rocketed and I began to have more fun, not just in front of students, but all around. I've laughed more in the last three days than I did in the two weeks prior it seems. Not to mention, my cooperating teacher has given me more freedom to teach our students in my style.

In listening to Fr. Robert Baron's homily for this weekend (www.wordonfire.org), he notes that we should ask ourselves "Why has God permitted me to have this wealth?" He is referencing Lazarus the beggar and the rich man - all that could be another post. I allowed myself to think deeper about the question he prompted. "Why has God permitted me to become a teacher?" He is using me as his instrument to make a positive difference in the lives of young people. But more importantly, I am His instrument for sharing His love with all those I meet. Granted, I'm not always the most charitable in the ways in which I educate others. That is something I need to work on.

Tangent: If you have ever read 7 Habits, I'm in aww of God at how re-reading that book in order to teach it is reminding me to apply these to my life, once again. At this point in time, particularly habits 1 and 5.

1. Be proactive - not reactive to my situation.

5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood - understand my students.

I apologize for the randomness that this post seems to be taking. It makes sense to me. Hopefully the pieces connect for you too. 

Finally, two prayers that are daily reminders to me of God's goodness. 

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next. Amen.

 Prayer from St. Theresa of the Child Jesus (St. Therese)

May today there be peace within. May you trust your highest power 

that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget 

the infinite possibilities born of faith. May you use those gifts that you 

have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. 

May you be content knowing you are a child of God. 

Allow His presence to settle in your bones and 

allow your soul to sing, dance, praise, and love.

It is there for each and every one of you. 

I am exactly where God wants me to be - where I am supposed to be. 

Finding Rock

Student teaching in the first month or at least in the first couple of weeks has not exactly what I thought it would be. In all honesty, I really was not sure what it was going to be. I knew that would I be living by myself at least three hours away from anyone who new me well. I knew that I would be stepping into an established teacher's classroom and learning everything I could. I knew that almost nothing would be familiar to me.

When I first went to K-State, I was in a similar situation. The familiar that I found there was mass, and not just on Sundays, but on weekdays as well. That was my rock - daily mass. Here in the SEK, with a teacher's schedule, daily mass is not exactly an option. Therefore, for the first couple of week's I've found myself without a rock. Not only was I without a rock, but it took and outsider's perspective of my situation to tell me that I didn't have a rock to keep me grounded.

Yesterday, we celebrated the feast of St. Matthew, the apostle. In getting to attend mass (it is not as scarce as I first thought, but it does take a small sacrifice for me to make it there), Fr. Bernie noted the foundation of the Catholic Church, the apostles. No matter the wind or turmoil that comes our way, we have a foundation.

So we, too, personally, should have our foundation, our rock. I am to be firmly grounded as the person God created me to be. However, in the new environment, and the grace of a strong faith, I've struggled to have a rock, someone or someones to hold me accountable to who I am and who God created me to be.

This past weekend, I visited friends in Atchison at Benedictine College. Julie noticed that lack of peace within me. Today, my college professor came to visit and reminded me that I'm not yet being the Jackie he knows I can be. We each have a foundation or a rock in our lives. If we don't recognize it or take advantage of it, we neglect it, and might find ourselves falling off of our foudation. Stay grounded. You might falter a bit from time to time and that's okay. So long as you come back to your foundatoin. Allow those around you to be your rock. God put them in our lives for a reason. Isn't he great? Aww-spiration.

Happy Birthday Mamma Mary!

Today, September 8^th, as Catholics we celebrate the Nativity, the birth of the Blessed Virgin Mary. What a wonderful celebration it is!

If I’m not mistaken, birthday tradition used to be that you did not receive gifts on your birthday, but rather you gave gifts. As an elementary student, my mom always sent cupcakes with me to school on my birthday to share with my classmates and teacher. They were scrumptious. In the more recent years, I cannot say that I have been so kind as to treat those around me on my birthday.

However, when I consider the gifts God has bestowed upon me through Mamma Mary both on her birthday and throughout the year, I am in aww of the mystery and awesomeness that is the gift of Mary as our mother.

This summer, I was blessed to find Following Jesus to Mary by Andrew Apostoli, CFR. In this book, this Franciscan provides much evidence to Our Lady as Mother, Teacher, and Advocate. In my experiences, I tagged on Example to this short list. Here is a brief anecdote for each.

You have probably heard, “a mother knows what is best for her children”. Mamma Mary knows we are in need of Christ. When we turn to Mary, she is already looking upon Jesus, and we in turn can only look upon Our Lord with her. Here is a quote from the book I found particularly fitting. “Her work as our Mother is to hand us to Jesus who will teach us the fullness of all we are called to be and to do.” It is very evident in my life that Mary has led me to Jesus time and time again, who is teaching me all that I am called to in life.

In any subject matter, we learn best from those who have studied, have experienced or have become experts on the topic, particularly when we cannot experience it firsthand ourselves. Who would be a better expert on Christ than His own Mother? Mamma Mary not only teaches us about Jesus, the Son of God, but also about her Fiat, her trusting in God and growing in faith. In this way, too, she is our example. The holiness and virtue of Mary is the kind of which we should strive for: profound humility, blind obedience, surpassing purity, heroic patience, ardent charity, divine wisdom, and many more.

All good that is within us comes from God. Thus we grow in virtue and holiness by asking God for the grace to do so. And why not unite our prayers with those of Mary or any of the saints to ask for their intercession for receiving all the grace God can bestow upon us? And in this way, Mary is our advocate. What son can refuse his mother?

Mary, the Mother of God is a gift to us. She is our Mother, our Teacher, our Example, and our Advocate. As we celebrate her birthday today, we are reminded of the faith we are to have, and thus how we are to persevere, no matter the trials we face.  I mostly am reminded today not to be faithful to God for my own sake (which is hard). Rather to be faithful to God for God’s sake and the sake of all those I interact with from day to day. The graces God gives me are not for me alone, but to be shared with all and building up the Kingdom of God.

My Source of Simplicity

In rummaging through some files on my laptop, I found the following article. It's everything about simplicity and more. Written by Theresa A. Thomas, it is titled Living Simply During Lent

February 8, 2008

I once was visiting a beautiful home, finely furnished with exquisite furniture, lovely artwork and impeccable décor. However, the heavy draperies around the windows blocked most of the natural light in the rooms, and left an atmosphere of heaviness and, quite frankly, suffocation. Although the home was beautiful I couldn't wait to leave and enjoy the freshness and plainness of the light and air outside.

I can't help but think, as we enter into this season of Lent, about the "heaviness," the complications of everyday life, that have the potential to snuff out the fresh light and air of Christ in our lives.

What am I talking about? I'm talking about living simply. Obviously Lent is a time for penance, reflection, renewal. It's a time for introspection and consideration of things eternal. What I'm proposing this Lent is paring down life, getting rid of the 'heavy draperies' so that things eternal can shine into our daily thoughts and lives.

How can simplicity of life be accomplished? I'm going to offer a formula set forth by philosopher and professor Peter Kreeft in his classic 1990 book, Making Choices: Practical Wisdom for Everyday Moral Decisions. (It's rated a full five stars on Amazon.com. Buy it there or at your local Catholic bookstore. I promise you won't be disappointed.)

First, attain mastery over time. The clock should not be our god. It is true we need to watch the clock to make it to work, keep our dentist appointments, and get to Mass on time. However, American society is too focused on schedules. Take time to get at eye level with your child and really listen. Make time for 'date night' with your mate. Do one thing at a time. Do not worry about work when you are home with your family or your home projects when you are at work. Think about the one thing you are currently doing and do it well. (Kreeft bluntly tells his readers to stop "octopussing" — trying to do eight things at once. I might add that some of us are likely even "jellyfishing." Did you know some jellyfish have hundreds of tentacles?) Slow down and here's the biggie: pray... without watching a clock. God is the creator of time, reminds Kreeft. God can multiply time, but first we must offer our time to Him. And it is good to remember that God cannot be outdone in generosity. He will take our sacrifice and bless us a thousand fold. A good place to start this Lent is going to Confession and attending other Catholic devotions such as Eucharistic Adoration or Stations of the Cross. Like the Nike commercial advocates, "Just do it."

Second, live more naturally. Go to bed earlier and get up earlier, following nature's cycle of darkness and light. Kreeft says this aids in simplicity because the things people do in the morning are usually simple things — walking, praying, and tidying up. And the things people do in the evening or more complicating (or time-wasting) — busywork, attending parties, watching television. Spend more time outdoors (yes, even in the winter!) Breathe in the fresh air. And take walks frequently. Kreeft writes, "[When you walk] you will begin to recapture the natural rhythms of the body...It attunes us with the earth and air...It is a symbol of life, the road to eternity... And it gives us an opportunity to think." 

Third, recognize that often less is more. Don't just give up sweets this Lent. Take less food. Chew it slowly. Savor its flavor deliberately. Enjoy it more. We've all seen women who have overdone it in the jewelry and make-up departments. They have baubles and beads on every limb, and layers of gold or silver around their necks. Heavy eye shadow and lip color emphasizes their faces. Who can deny that this actually detracts from a woman's natural beauty? Contrast that image with simple cleanliness and light makeup, a plain cross necklace and a pair of simple earrings on a female. One young woman I knew in college gave up make-up for Lent. That's probably considered radical in our American culture, and I don't know very many women who would do that for forty whole days, but it is a good idea to eliminate extra things. Less truly is often more.

Fourth, decrease expenses. We don't need half of what we want anyway. Love of money is the root of all evil. See what you can do without.

Fifth, embrace silence. Kreeft calls silence "the unknown power source...the great untapped resource." He says that silence is more, not less than noise. Cultivate inner silence by eliminating outer noise. Turn off the television. Skip the radio in the car. Listen more. Talk less. God speaks to us all the time, but often with the cacophonic sounds intruding into our lives we just don't hear Him.

Simplifying life truly is like pulling back or even taking down thick draperies in a stuffy, dark room. In removing the fabric that blocks luminosity we will find more light, more freshness, and quite likely more room for God.