There is No Duplicity In Him

Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him, “Here is a true Israelite. There is no duplicity in him.” John 1:47

The comparison of duplicity verses integrity recently came to my attention. 

du·plic·i·ty [doo-plis-i-tee, dyoo-] noun, plural du·plic·i·ties
1. deceitfulness in speech or conduct, as by speaking or acting in two different ways to different people concerning the same matter; double-dealing; the state or quality of having two elements or parts; being twofold or double.

in·teg·ri·ty [in-teg-ri-tee] noun,
1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty. 2. the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: being one unit

I admit, I own you an apology. An apology that I have been complaining about my life being hard, wanting to be elsewhere, and no so much as readily accepting that I am here in the here and now. I have recently been convicted that in order to be happy with where I am at, I need to convince myself that I am happy where I am. How does this happen and what does this have to do with duplicity or rather, integrity?

Almost two weeks ago, a current student teacher who hails from a near by town e-mailed me to confirm or question a rumor he heard in a brief trip home. Basically it came down to, "are you planning on sticking around Inman, because I've heard about you wanting to go into youth ministry and that you could be leaving in the near future...". Hmm. I pretty well confirmed that I've considered other options, but at this point in time plan on sticking around, so long as that's what God wills for me. 

Later, it dawned on me. If people from a town six miles away are aware of my considering religious life, of which I've only told to a handful of people, what has my administration heard? Also, what do my students think from day to day? Do they consider that I will still be around next year? Do I portray duplicity or integrity? What do my actions say? Do my words match my actions? Do my actions match my words? Finally, praise God, this "rumor" is not some thing terrible or incriminating. Though, I admit, I'm not sure how a predominately Mennonite community reacts to such an idea. 

My spiritual director, the good priest that he is, once handed me the following excerpt from Abandonment to Diving Providence, by Jean-Pierre de Caussade. I have yet to delve into the book, for my spiritual directors speaks highly of the writer. These such promptings are helping me to live more fulling in the present. Mamma keep you.

"In reality, holiness consists of one thing only: complete loyalty to God's will."

"Perfection is neither more nor less than the soul's faithful cooperation with God."

"Our only satisfaction must be to live in the present moment as if there were nothing to expect beyond it."

"You are seeking for secret ways of belonging to God, but there is only one: making use of whatever he offers you."

"If we only have sense enough to leave everything to the guidance of God's hand we should reach the highest peak of holiness."

"The great and firm foundation of the spiritual life is the offering of ourselves to God and being subject to his will in all things."

"The truly faithful soul accepts all things as a manifestation of God's grace, ignores itself and thinks only of what God is doing."

"Let us love, for love will give us everything."

"If we are truly docile, we will ask no questions about the road along with God is taking us."

"God truly helps us however much we may feel we have lost his support."

"The more God takes from the abandoned soul, the more he is really giving it... the more he strips us of natural things, the more he showers us with supernatural gifts."

"To all his faithful souls, God promises a glorious victory over the powers of the world and of hell."