Exactly Where I'm Supposed to Be

On a Saturday evening in late September, I'm sitting in the high school agricultural education classroom lesson planning. Nerd? I think so. Well maybe just a little. I want to follow up on my blog post from Wednesday. It seems my life has kind of taken a 180 degree turn in the last couple of days. And it's a great mental break from thinking about the classes I'm teaching.

Having lived in southeast Kansas for just over a month now, God has already enlightened me in many ways. We all know that hindsight is 20/20, at least when we can see the whole picture. As I look back on the content I've taught to my Introduction to Agriculture students, I can see how what I thought they should already know is not as realistic as it could be. Also, I can envision what needs to happen before Greenhand Conference four days from now.  Once we understand where we have been, it's easier to take strides forward, rather than baby steps.

My cooperating teacher is wonderful. She's an established teacher who knows the content well, has great rapport with her students, and knows what works in this environment and community.  What's the issue? In my three weeks of teaching, I've tried to teach her way, not my way. It was making me miserable. Trying to keep going and survive each day, I did not enough have the chance to step back and take a look at my situation. Time and time again, it seems, I re-learn the lesson to be myself. After receiving a sort of pep talk from my professor, my confidence sky rocketed and I began to have more fun, not just in front of students, but all around. I've laughed more in the last three days than I did in the two weeks prior it seems. Not to mention, my cooperating teacher has given me more freedom to teach our students in my style.

In listening to Fr. Robert Baron's homily for this weekend (www.wordonfire.org), he notes that we should ask ourselves "Why has God permitted me to have this wealth?" He is referencing Lazarus the beggar and the rich man - all that could be another post. I allowed myself to think deeper about the question he prompted. "Why has God permitted me to become a teacher?" He is using me as his instrument to make a positive difference in the lives of young people. But more importantly, I am His instrument for sharing His love with all those I meet. Granted, I'm not always the most charitable in the ways in which I educate others. That is something I need to work on.

Tangent: If you have ever read 7 Habits, I'm in aww of God at how re-reading that book in order to teach it is reminding me to apply these to my life, once again. At this point in time, particularly habits 1 and 5.

1. Be proactive - not reactive to my situation.

5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood - understand my students.

I apologize for the randomness that this post seems to be taking. It makes sense to me. Hopefully the pieces connect for you too. 

Finally, two prayers that are daily reminders to me of God's goodness. 

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next. Amen.

 Prayer from St. Theresa of the Child Jesus (St. Therese)

May today there be peace within. May you trust your highest power 

that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget 

the infinite possibilities born of faith. May you use those gifts that you 

have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. 

May you be content knowing you are a child of God. 

Allow His presence to settle in your bones and 

allow your soul to sing, dance, praise, and love.

It is there for each and every one of you. 

I am exactly where God wants me to be - where I am supposed to be. 

Finding Rock

Student teaching in the first month or at least in the first couple of weeks has not exactly what I thought it would be. In all honesty, I really was not sure what it was going to be. I knew that would I be living by myself at least three hours away from anyone who new me well. I knew that I would be stepping into an established teacher's classroom and learning everything I could. I knew that almost nothing would be familiar to me.

When I first went to K-State, I was in a similar situation. The familiar that I found there was mass, and not just on Sundays, but on weekdays as well. That was my rock - daily mass. Here in the SEK, with a teacher's schedule, daily mass is not exactly an option. Therefore, for the first couple of week's I've found myself without a rock. Not only was I without a rock, but it took and outsider's perspective of my situation to tell me that I didn't have a rock to keep me grounded.

Yesterday, we celebrated the feast of St. Matthew, the apostle. In getting to attend mass (it is not as scarce as I first thought, but it does take a small sacrifice for me to make it there), Fr. Bernie noted the foundation of the Catholic Church, the apostles. No matter the wind or turmoil that comes our way, we have a foundation.

So we, too, personally, should have our foundation, our rock. I am to be firmly grounded as the person God created me to be. However, in the new environment, and the grace of a strong faith, I've struggled to have a rock, someone or someones to hold me accountable to who I am and who God created me to be.

This past weekend, I visited friends in Atchison at Benedictine College. Julie noticed that lack of peace within me. Today, my college professor came to visit and reminded me that I'm not yet being the Jackie he knows I can be. We each have a foundation or a rock in our lives. If we don't recognize it or take advantage of it, we neglect it, and might find ourselves falling off of our foudation. Stay grounded. You might falter a bit from time to time and that's okay. So long as you come back to your foundatoin. Allow those around you to be your rock. God put them in our lives for a reason. Isn't he great? Aww-spiration.

Happy Birthday Mamma Mary!

Today, September 8^th, as Catholics we celebrate the Nativity, the birth of the Blessed Virgin Mary. What a wonderful celebration it is!

If I’m not mistaken, birthday tradition used to be that you did not receive gifts on your birthday, but rather you gave gifts. As an elementary student, my mom always sent cupcakes with me to school on my birthday to share with my classmates and teacher. They were scrumptious. In the more recent years, I cannot say that I have been so kind as to treat those around me on my birthday.

However, when I consider the gifts God has bestowed upon me through Mamma Mary both on her birthday and throughout the year, I am in aww of the mystery and awesomeness that is the gift of Mary as our mother.

This summer, I was blessed to find Following Jesus to Mary by Andrew Apostoli, CFR. In this book, this Franciscan provides much evidence to Our Lady as Mother, Teacher, and Advocate. In my experiences, I tagged on Example to this short list. Here is a brief anecdote for each.

You have probably heard, “a mother knows what is best for her children”. Mamma Mary knows we are in need of Christ. When we turn to Mary, she is already looking upon Jesus, and we in turn can only look upon Our Lord with her. Here is a quote from the book I found particularly fitting. “Her work as our Mother is to hand us to Jesus who will teach us the fullness of all we are called to be and to do.” It is very evident in my life that Mary has led me to Jesus time and time again, who is teaching me all that I am called to in life.

In any subject matter, we learn best from those who have studied, have experienced or have become experts on the topic, particularly when we cannot experience it firsthand ourselves. Who would be a better expert on Christ than His own Mother? Mamma Mary not only teaches us about Jesus, the Son of God, but also about her Fiat, her trusting in God and growing in faith. In this way, too, she is our example. The holiness and virtue of Mary is the kind of which we should strive for: profound humility, blind obedience, surpassing purity, heroic patience, ardent charity, divine wisdom, and many more.

All good that is within us comes from God. Thus we grow in virtue and holiness by asking God for the grace to do so. And why not unite our prayers with those of Mary or any of the saints to ask for their intercession for receiving all the grace God can bestow upon us? And in this way, Mary is our advocate. What son can refuse his mother?

Mary, the Mother of God is a gift to us. She is our Mother, our Teacher, our Example, and our Advocate. As we celebrate her birthday today, we are reminded of the faith we are to have, and thus how we are to persevere, no matter the trials we face.  I mostly am reminded today not to be faithful to God for my own sake (which is hard). Rather to be faithful to God for God’s sake and the sake of all those I interact with from day to day. The graces God gives me are not for me alone, but to be shared with all and building up the Kingdom of God.