God Speaks

Here are some of the things he has been saying to me repeatedly, lately. 

"Be who God meant you to be and 

you will set the world on fire." 

- St. Catherine of Sienna

"Don't ask what the world needs. 

Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. 

Because what  

the world needs is people who have come alive." 

- Howard Thurman

All Things Are Changing. God Alone is Changeless.

A temptation in awaiting the Kingdom is to despair of the times of trial through which we must pass. But in the words of St. Theresa of Jesus, “all things pass,” only God remains. Nothing we suffer will remain as the Kingdom approaches. And yet all these “trials” are the most valuable and powerful means to bring about the Kingdom in our own souls and in the lives of others, especially in those who wander. Use the tools of the Kingdom: Suffer trials with faith, and respond with a love that gives them an eternal value. May we never lose a moment in which to merit graces and build the Kingdom that comes. In the end, only what we have done for God and for our brothers and sisters remains. 

A brief reflection from a recent daily Regnum Christi email (above)....

Let nothing disturb you.

Let nothing frighten you.

All things are changing.

God alone is changeless.

Patience attains the good.

One who has God lacks nothing.

God alone fills all our needs. 

- St. Teresa of Avila

The Merit of Prayer

An excerpt from "Heaven is for Real":

"But at that moment, my faith was hanging by a tattered thread and fraying fast. I thought of the times where the Scripture says that God answered the prayers, not of the sick or dying, but of the friends of the sick or dying - the paralytic, for example. It was when Jesus saw the faith of the man's friends that he told the paralytic, "Get up, take your mat and go home." At that moment, I needed to borrow the strength and faith of some other believers. After I hung up the phone with Terri, Sonja and I sat together and prayed, afraid to hope and afraid not to."

There are days I don't want to be in Inman, Kansas anymore. There are days where I still enjoy what I do and can make do with the community and fellowship I experience on the weekends. Ultimately, it is the prayers of my dear brothers and sisters in Christ that provide me with the strength to "forge on" to fulfill my contract through the month of May. I may or may not be here again next year, but that is another topic, blog, and decision not yet made with several facets to consider.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to those of you who have prayed for my requested intentions via text, facebook, e-mail, phone, or person to person. Your prayers provide me with strength, perseverance, patience, courage, balance, wisdom, understanding, peace, and many more of the virtues, gifts and fruits I've asked for since January. 

This blog is about my own prayers. I've realized the need to ask for the grace made available to us at the beginning of each day. But I've also witnessed the power of praying for someone else over the course of year, and watching God work in their life. It is these latter mentioned prayers that give me encouragement to keep praying. From time to time, my weaknesses get the best of me. "Why am I still attempting to pray a daily rosary? I'm struggling in prayer right now. I'm not getting anything out of it. I can't even stay awake or give Mary my all by kneeling instead of driving, walking or laying down to say what I can before falling asleep. I'm so distracted..."  The excuses could go on. However, praise God for grace.

I hope you attach an intention to every prayer or sacrifice or self-mortification that you say, pray, endure or inflict. Some one, some where, will benefit from the merits of your love for them. Maybe not instantly, but as I've recently read, the merits of your prayers may build up as a flood wall against a dam of resistance that will one day break.

"It is a much better thing to speak to God than of God." ~ St. Therese of Lisieux

At NCYC recently, I heard Jason Evert speak on "Talking with Teens about Taboo Topics." He stresses first and foremost (the first of ten tips) the importance of praying for students and youth. A few tidbits from his first point: "Fast for your kids," he says. "The merits of which will equal your degree of love." "Offer up your suffering." "Jesus suffered so we would know how to suffer. He redeemed us with suffering. Don't waste your suffering."

Jason followed this point up with a short story about a cardinal who was faltering in his faith. One night, he dreamed about a sister, who through the merits of her prayers and sufferings, saved his faith. Awhile later, the cardinal was visiting Rome, and found himself saying mass for a group of sisters. While distributing Communion, he recognized the sister from his dream, though he had never seen any of them before. He caught the Mother after mass, asking permission to come and meet the sisters. When he arrived, she, the sister from his dream, was not there. Curious, he asked if this was all the sisters. Mother said, no, there is one other but she is very shy. He asked if he could meet her anyway. Mother allotted. Sure enough, this was the sister. The Cardinal asked the sister if she offered up prayers for priests. She responded indicating her morning chores as offered for priests, as well as how she offers the merits of her afternoon. He then asked if there were any she offered specifically for Cardinals. "Oh yes, the laundry, at the end of the day when I am most tired, I offer up for Cardinals," she replied. He thanked her for her prayers, encouraged her to continue to pray, but never mentioned his dream to her. 

I don't tell the story near as well, and have forgotten some of the details. The point remains the same: there is merit in what you do. There is merit in what you suffer, if you suffer with love.

Levels of merit:
speak about God = little,
speaking to God = much,
suffering with Christ = most.

It's Okay to Be Bored

Last Friday, October 28, we had no school, like most of the high schools in the area. I departed from this little town I reside in to visit good 'ol KSU, in particular a few wonderful folks and the becoming ever more and more popular Thursday night Mass at St. Isidore's.

Before parting ways from school, I had anticipated packing a bag of potential lesson plan writing resources and my school laptop to fill the day as I waited for my only pre-scheduled event of my time in Manhattan of catching up with a friend from my CYO days. Fortunately, the janitor (yup the same one that has been encouraging me all semester) said to me while she was cleaning my room, "You need the weekend break, so you can be refreshed when you start next week." That was enough to convince me. I left school pretty much empty handed. After catching the first quarter of the last home football game, I parted. My intent for the weekend was that of accomplishing nothing by chilling and getting away from the daily grind.

Mass was an abundant blessing, as you may have guessed. I love the mass in and of itself, but I love it even more when you celebrate it with those who you know love it as much as you do. I wasn't just seeing my brothers and sisters in Christ in the Eucharist, I was standing beside several of them. Praise God for that!

In essence, my weekend was exactly that. Friday in Manhattan, Saturday at home on the farm, Sunday mass and Knights pancake feed before returning to Inman.  A whole lot of chill and nothingness, time with friends and family, and slight unwillingness to return to school Monday.  Some boredom, some reading, some movie and KSU game watching, and some more "I just don't want to do anything."

Around Wednesday evening, I stumbled across one of the regular emails that comes from Matthew Kelly. This one contained a typical excerpt from one of his books. I don't feel so bad about such an unproductive weekend. Because, in fact, I got to the point where I started asking myself, "What do I really want to do with my life? What is it that I really desire? How can I best serve God and love doing it?" I haven't come up with all the answers, but I am content with giving myself a lazy Sunday afternoon to just think from time to time. Enjoy the read. God Bless you always in all ways.

Feed Your Mind

When we get too busy and too tired, we tend to lose touch with our intellectual desires very quickly. But allow yourself several lazy Sunday afternoons in a row, unencumbered by technological stimulation, and you will find yourself thinking, I’ve always wanted to learn how to play the piano or the guitar, or, ­wouldn’t it be neat to learn Spanish and then take a trip to Spain… I would love to master the game of chess… I’ve always wanted to understand how the body transforms food into energy… Perhaps I should read a little more history or research my family tree… Maybe at this time in my life I should keep a journal…
Leisure ignites our intellectual desires; fatigue banishes them.
  We are born with intellectual desire. You may have lost touch with it, but you have it. Over the years, you may have buried it or it may have become distorted by some childhood experience, but intellectual desire is natural and abundant in us all.
Intellectual desire is best understood in the example of a child. Children have a curiosity that brings a natural sense of wonder to their lives. What are children always asking? Why? They are naturally curious. From the moment they can think and speak logically, one question dominates their inner dialogue (thoughts) and their outer dialogue (conversations). Internally and externally, they are constantly asking, Why? They are naturally curious, eager to understand, and they yearn for knowledge.
Intellectual desire is one of the great signs of human vitality. Are you thriving or are you just surviving?
If you are not in tune with your intellectual desire, what happened? Maybe when you were a child your parents used to yell at you when you asked questions. Perhaps you always wanted to learn to play the piano, but your friends told you it was only for sissies. The simplest things can cause us to shrink back and bury ourselves. You asked a question in class as a child, all the other children laughed, and the embarrassment buried that natural desire.
Life ­doesn’t spare any of us from these and other bitter—sometimes brutal—experiences. Still, we have to get back up and move on. In this case, that means rediscovering our intellectual desires. Leisure brings clarity to the mind. Allow yourself time to rest, relax, and be rejuvenated, and as you do, your intellectual desires will once again begin to emerge.
One of the greatest proofs of our intellectual desire is the number of books we buy. Visit a bookstore for an hour and tell me how many books you buy or would have liked to buy. Maybe you ­don’t buy books anymore because you have bought so many that you have never read. Most of us keep buying them and piling them up. Why? Our intellectual needs are so great and our corresponding intellectual yearnings are so strong that we hope one day we will start to live in alignment with our legitimate needs and our deepest desires.
Feed your mind.
An excerpt from, The Rhythm of Life, by Matthew Kelly

Care for Body and Soul

CCC 364   "The human body shares in the dignity of the "image of God": it is a human body precisely because it is animated by a spiritual soul, and it is the whole human person that is intended to become, in the body of Christ, a temple of the Spirit:

       Man, though made of body and soul, is a unity. Through his very bodily condition he sums up in himself the elements of the material world. Through him they are thus brought to their highest perfection and can raise their voice in praise freely given to the Creator. For this reason man may not despise his bodily life. Rather he is obliged to regard his body as good and to hold it in honor since God has created it and will raise it up on the last day."

I could take several different tangents on this excerpt from the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC), however, the one upon which I shall focus this evening is that of how we treat our bodies in our food consumption. I'm not going far right or far left as far as politics or extremists are concerned, rather just challenging you to consider what you put into your body. 

My Food Science class is currently in the midst of a unit on Nutrition and Digestion. We've covered basic components of nutrition and various parts of the digestive tract and processes. To help us gain an understanding of the pieces all together, we will be watching "Super Size Me." I know my ag educator in high school taught this in her classes, but I have not actually seen the documentary (?) until this evening, screening it while working on other lesson plans. If you need a kick in the pants about improving your diet and nutrition, you might give it a whirl. 

The star of the show self-opts to participate in a 30 day McDonalds'-only diet. He does a physical evaluation of his health with the help of some experts prior to beginning the diet. Ultimately, the impact is pretty dramatic and causes him to reconsider fast-food. 

While my point is not about the movie, it is about knowing yourself and your bodily needs. How can you better glorify God through your body? Lack of proper nutrition and diet can have negatives affects on you and your attitude. Too many sugars and fats, not enough vitamins and minerals can cause you to feel sluggish, lack energy and simply perform below par. This has been me for quite awhile, especially recently this semester. I've been extra tired, some times more than others. I consume too much candy (that candy jar is intended for my students from time to time, not me all the time), too much coffee (which is mostly fattening creamer anyway), and have tended to be apathetic of late. I've been telling myself something needs to change. I need to take action and improve my lifestyle, my love for life, and my motivation to get out of bed in the mornings. I'm not expert in this matter, but I'm learning and sharing.

I finally took some time to prepare frozen vegetables and grilled chicken for a much healthier meal than my typical evening picks. Three-hours later, I already feel as though I have a lot more energy. Are you neglecting your daily recommended allowances? I suggest you take note and allow yourself to better glorify God in all you do by eating more healthily that you do at present. It might help you better focus in prayer, too.

God Bless. Mamma Mary keep you!

F.A.M.I.L.Y.

Forget

About

Me

I 

Love

You

Many thanks to David Walker who first shared this phrase with me through my candidate TEC experience. I'm sure many of you have heard this phrase, especially if you are involved with the TEC movement.

I don't know if I've mentioned the comparison of being a channel or an instrument of God's grace, love, peace, joy, agape... In the recent past have stumbled across the expression of not being so much a conduit, but rather a reservoir of the blessings that flow within and through us. We have to retain some things for ourselves, and when the time is right, share out of what has been stored up within us. 

So, six years later, this acronym has been shared a few times over the past week, with the volleyball girls. We have a tendency of not being very mentally tough. Meaning, when things don't go our way, or we make a mistake, we tend to dwell on the negative and lose our focus on the next ball coming over the net. At the same time, we don't always say 'team' in huddles, but 'family'. So how do we act and play as a family? The girls have not perfected this concept, but I hope they can begin to apply it on the court and in their everyday lives. 

Forget about me: stop dwelling on my mistakes, the past, and don't be putting blame on someone else for something that did not go right. Forget about wanting the attention, the glory, the best play of the game, or even to get your hand on the ball every volley. Forget about what your teammates, coaches, the people in the stands are thinking about you. 

I love you: the opposite of love is selfishness, so love must be associated with selflessness. I'm going to show you that I love you through my actions, my playing well on the court, my doing good for the good of my team, focusing on the next play, putting forth effort, playing hard, complimenting my teammates for their effort and accomplishments, not wanting anything in return. 

A lesson I have had to learn on multiple occasions is that when we are feeling sorry for ourselves, the best thing for us to do is not to pout or treat ourselves to something special. The best thing for us to do is to do good for someone else: open the door for a stranger, smile, say hello, ask a person how their day is going, compliment some one, do a hidden act of kindness (my favorite), and the list can go on.

Praise God for opening my eyes to ways in which to instill virtue in those I am able to influence from day to day. All Glory be to God, The Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit.

Importance of Mental Prayer and Meditation

Living very close to the football field, I was in some ways able to watch tonight's game from my living room couch. Honestly, I didn't pay all that much attention. Quiet time by myself is rare, and this was an opportunity I did not want to miss. 

In the time since working on the Prayer and Action staff, I have been blessed to be reading a chapter or two a day in some excellent books. From time to time, I would miss a day, but was pretty persistent, so long as I was reading the same two books. Since then, however, I picked up another book or two, and have not been so persistent. Recognizing my need for quiet, prayer, and meditation, I opted to not be social this evening. 

One of the books I am in the midst of is called, "The Soul of the Apostolate." It's one of those books where everything you read, when you read it, applies directly to your current life situation. Tonight's chapter: "The Active Worker Who Has No Interior Life." In a vague synopsis, an active individual is so convinced that they are doing good works, that they keep so busy with their works that they neglect their prayer and interior life. After a broad explanation, the chapter proceeds to break down the steps of the depth of the fall of such a person. It was like looking in a mirror. I'm in the midst of the THIRD STAGE. Allow me to enlighten you, so that you may learn from my faults. 

"First Stage: The soul began by progressively losing the clarity and power (if ever it had any at all) of its convictions about the supernatural life, the supernatural world, and the economy of the plan and of the action of Our Lord with regard to the relation between the interior life of the apostle and his works."  Loosing sight or original purpose to be the servant of Christ...  Tepidity (luke-warmness or half-heartedness) is close at hand. 

Second Stage: being a slave to a schedule, cutting out pious exercises, shortening meditation time or making it irregular, improvising instead of preparing, late nights that cause late mornings and neglect of prayer time, 'too busy-tired or lazy to for serious mental prayer from which one might draw energy and drive for his day's work,' ... etc. "St. Alphonsus says, "Short of a miracle, a man who does not practice mental prayer will end up in mortal sin." 

There are more good quotes about those who live without mental prayer.

So I find myself with all the symptoms of stage two in the process of this depth of falling, as well as those of state three. 

Third Stage: neglect in the recitation of the BREVIARY... prays in a rush... fervor for acts is beginning to dry up...

And frightfully symptoms of the Fourth State are sprinkled here and there throughout my days and my weeks. Note, the longer it has been since I went to confession, the more the symptoms of these various stages appear in my life, and the more susceptible I am to temptations.

As I was beginning to fall asleep during my reflection - reading - meditation time, I figured I ought to pray Night Prayer before I find myself conked out and having not prayed it. I'm sure I didn't really want to pray it, and did a poor job of not being distracted, the prayer allotted me the grace to stay alert long enough to type out these two posts and tackle a few other to-dos this evening.

Keep meditation and mental prayer a part of your day, or start if you don't already. Read one chapter of something religious or spiritual each day, around the same time each day. Allow your schedule to be changed by the Holy Spirit. Find a balance of contemplation and works. And don't neglect the contemplation. Don't believe the lies that you don't have time. Contemplation, prayer, meditation is what gives you the energy and the drive to accomplish the works and the action.

Thank you for all of those who are praying for me and have shared the merits I was to receive to be able to recognize the current state of my interior life and balance between prayer and action. Peace in Christ to you.

October

October is my favorite month of the year. It could be because of the weather, because it is the month of the rosary, the month in which my birthday falls, when National FFA Convention is typically held, or just because God created it to be the greatest month of the year.

It's been a whirlwind of a fall 1st 9-weeks. Between being in my second semester of teaching and coaching volleyball, there is very little time to catch my breath. Fortunately, God gives us what we need when we need it. Recently I had a short breather. Not anything like what I was expecting. Prior to the first full week of the month, I was pondering allowing myself a mental-break-day from school. There is a lot going on, and it would be hard to tear myself away, let alone make the sub plans. However, God had something else in mind. 

On Sunday, October 2, coming out of my adoration hour, I noticed a couple of missed calls from home. Sometimes my family will leave me a message, other times not. This time, the latter occurred. Driving back to Inman, I called home, upon which Dad suggested I go visit Grandpa. He had fallen the night before and his kidneys were not doing to well. Since I had little planned, after a late lunch, my car proceeded north on 61 and then east on 56 with me inside. 

It had been a month since I had last seen Grandpa. In the third week of school, I had a dentist appointment that took me to Marion. Upon seeing Gpa, I pretty much broke. Tears started flowing as I was incredibly stressed and having a tough time getting adjusted. I didn't tell Gpa much about things, but rather was happy to be in the presence of someone who loved me for me, no questions asked. Grandpa was already at the stage where he did not stay awake for long periods of time, which was just as true October 2. In fact, he stayed awake for about 5 seconds at a time. Enough to see who was in the room, and ask a question or two. Grandma was keeping it together, so long as you didn't ask her how she was doing. Several of my aunts and uncles were around for the hour or so I was there. I had a hunch when I left, it might be the last time I see Grandpa. I did not voice my hunch, but did ask what the expected recovery was. 

Tuesday morning, I was walking the two blocks back to school with my students from our practice land judging experience when one of the secretaries came to share the news of G-pa's passing. I melted, tears started to come, received a hug, and proceed through the next class before figuring out that I just needed to get away and cry. So began the breather I needed. I took students to FFA on Wednesday, but then went ahead and took off Thursday and Friday.

Thursday evening after the Rosary led by Rev. Fr. Paul Oborny, we all gathered at Grandma's house for grub and family time together. Before heading out, Grandma handed me my birthday card. She does well to pick out cards, this one reading, "A Granddaughter is - Love that captures your heart the moment she arrives..." This phrase expresses the how I felt when walking into Grandpa or Grandma's presence. And the card had been signed since September 29 - or so the check says so.

The next day was a tough one. My brother Greg made pancakes for my immediate family. The funeral mass was peaceful, as was the burial. Lots of flowers and plants, lots of friends and community members attended in support. Grandpa was a tremendous individual, and I'm grateful to have been impacted by his life in many ways. 

My selfishness still was getting the best of me, especially when announcement was made by my great-uncle that it was my birthday and everyone began to sing. I was not pleased; embarrassed and a trite upset. I didn't pout too much, but allowed one or two people to know that I didn't appreciate the attention so much. (I kind of like hidden-ness.)

I'm sure I still don't really comprehend the fullness of why we got to bury Gpa on my birthday. He got to be buried on the Memorial of Our Lady of the Rosary. Mamma Mary has many titles, and what better one to be saying when Gpa got to run into her arms. He was very fond of the prayer. What better month to go to heaven?

Much like Christ had to leave the apostles to send them the Holy Spirit, I hope Grandpa is better able to be by my side in spirit, praying rosaries with my Guardian Angel.

There is still much to experience in this beautiful month. 

Thank you to those of you who helped me to feel and experience the love of those who love and care for me. God Bless you always. Mamma Mary keep you.

And I do not know which I shall choose.

"Brothers and sisters:
Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death.
For to me life is Christ, and death is gain.
If I go on living in the flesh,
that means fruitful labor for me.
And I do not know which I shall choose.
I am caught between the two.
I long to depart this life and be with Christ,
for that is far better.
Yet that I remain in the flesh
is more necessary for your benefit."

Philippians 1:20-24

Tonight, as I reread through today's Mass readings, there is a piece in this passage that catches my attention. While I do seek to go to heaven to be with Christ, there is a more earthly comparison I would like to make in reference to this piece of scripture. 

As many of you know, I am on a roller-coaster of a journey in spiritual and vocational discernment. I would like to say that my highs and lows go with summer and school, respectively, but that is not always the case. I learn about the depths and the beauty of the religious vocation and soon find myself still considering the idea of married life. Regardless of which one I shall choose, in time, my current vocation is to love the people present in my life. Here is a quote from a dear friend, and former teammate. I feel like I may have posted this before, but instead of referencing that post, I'll share again. I know I have to learn most lessons more than once.


"The world's vocation is to love. All of our vocations are to love. We are to sacrifice for one another, and not expect anything in return. What we seek, though, is the role of love that we are supposed to play. Whether this is as a religious or as a rock in a family, we have to discern God's will. But we shouldn't expect God to bend to our timeline. No, we discern in our daily lives. We show that we trust in Him by living the best we can, in the situation we are in now. We don't plan our vocation... we live it out."

And I keep planning, which distracts me from just living. I'm continuing to learn more about myself and my strengths, often trying to guess where they would be better put to use. I am definitely gaining a unique skill set as an educator, advisor and coach. These skills will be put to proper use in His time. Even this afternoon, I was leaning towards the idea of remaining present in the world as His instrument, which would be "necessary for your benefit." Yet, as I drove away from being present with my brothers and sisters in Christ, I was reminded of my longings to be rid of the worldly desires that can so often distract me from Christ. But is that the evil one taunting me? Mamma Mary, keep me in your care.

Thus "I do not know which one I shall choose. I long to depart this life and be with Christ, for that is far better." I seek to be in a cloister, as His bride. But I also seek to remain present, "living in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me... Yet that I remain in the flesh is more necessary for your benefit." For I trust there is many ways He can use me, even without my consent. Pax. 

Be Patient With Me, God Isn't Finished Yet

I don't know where I first heard this phrase. In a quick google, I learned it is the title of a book, but I didn't look much further.

This has been a strong message in the recent weeks. Adapting to the new school year has been a challenge. I was hopeful that one semester of teaching had prepared me for much of what was to come along next. Nope. Not hardly. Summer was nothing compared to my summers with Totus Tuus and Prayer and Action, but it still spoiled me with having little to absolutely need to accomplish each day and setting about my own schedule with little accountability to anyone. The school year has been so much different. Adjusting has been difficult.

"Be stern, Jackie." "You can always lighten up later, but you can never get tougher." These were some of the common phrases I heard throughout the first two weeks of school. "Those boys will push." And indeed, my shop boys push for freedom. In addition to still learning the ropes of being an agricultural educator and FFA advisor, I hopped on board as assistant volleyball coach, filling my schedule with several hours each week of practice, matches, travel and tournaments. I get to see a way different group of students and hopefully are enticing some to consider an agriculture class next year.

A few unexpected reprimands from an administrator (nothing extreme, but enough to challenge one to shape up), feeling blind to how I was really doing as a teacher, and having little time for me, I was struggling. The Friday before labor day, I found the janitor who cleans my room present before I got away for the evening. Her words were encouraging. "Don't give up, Jackie. Never give up." We concluded that coaching is going to help me improve in toughness. That conversation was followed by my finding a slightly unpleasant letter in my school mailbox. What a great start to a three-day weekend...

Moms are such a blessing. While there are few occasions where mom and I have some good heart to hearts, Sunday was one of those occasions. It was a great conversation, though I may have shed numerous tears and caused mom to shed some as well. Between that and a conversation with my spiritual director, I realized that I was expecting too much of myself. Somehow, I was prompted to put the title of this post as my profile status before even meeting with Father. "If you were the fourth person of the Holy Trinity you could accomplish more, but you're not." Humbling conversations, even more humbling reprimands. 

God doesn't rush things, so why do we? It's our human nature to expect instant results or gratification. In reality, things don't work that way. So I've lightened up a little, and have allowed the semester to begin to take care of itself, in some ways. I'm adjusting to a better sleeping schedule (to sleep earlier and up earlier). I'm working on the regular exercise thing (though colder weather tends to hinder my running outdoors). I'm giving myself a break when I don't have everything graded and returned to my students within the week. I'm okay with 'winging it' from day to day, but trust that I will learn from my mistakes and still improve everyday. I've learned that my state of life does not allow for daily mass, not really even once a week, and I'm about over the heartache of such, learning to see Christ present without the Eucharist every day. In the past nine months, my financial management has improved tremendously, and hopefully will continue. These things take time. As will the revealing of His will for me and for you.

We've got a lifetime of learning to imitate Christ, journeying towards our heavenly home. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Aww-spiration.

Grocery List

One of the many forwards I've received...
Louise Redden, a poorly dressed lady with a look of defeat on her face, walked into a grocery store..

She approached the owner of the store in a most humble manner and asked if he would let her charge a few groceries.. She softly explained that her husband was very ill and unable to work, they had seven children and they needed food.

John Longhouse, the grocer, scoffed at her and requested that she leave his store at once.
Visualizing the family needs, she said: 'Please, sir! I will bring you the money just as soon as I can.'
John told her he could not give her credit, since she did not have a charge account at his store.

Standing beside the counter was a customer who overheard the conversation between the two The customer walked forward and told the grocer that he would stand good for whatever she needed for her
family. The grocer said in a very reluctant voice, 'Do you have a grocery list?'

Louise replied, 'Yes sir.' 'O.K' he said, 'put your grocery list on the scales and whatever your grocery list weighs, I will give you that amount in groceries.' Louise hesitated a moment with a bowed head, then she reached into her purse and took out a piece of paper and scribbled something on it. She then laid the piece of paper on the scale carefully with her head still bowed.

The eyes of the grocer and the customer showed amazement when the scales went down and stayed down.. The grocer, staring at the scales, turned slowly to the customer and said begrudgingly, 'I can't believe it.'

The customer smiled and the grocer started putting the groceries on the other side of the scales. The scale did not balance so he continued to put more and more groceries on them until the scales
would hold no more.

The grocer stood there in utter disgust. Finally, he grabbed the
piece of paper from the scales and looked at it with greater
amazement.

It was not a grocery list, it was a prayer, which said: 'Dear Lord, you know my needs and I am leaving this in your hands.'

The grocer gave her the groceries that he had gathered and stood in stunned silence.

Louise thanked him and left the store. The other customer handed a fifty-dollar bill to the grocer and said; 'It was worth every penny of it. Only God Knows how much a prayer weighs.'

Trust God to heal the sick, provide food for the hungry, clothes and shelter for those that don't have as we do. Amen

It Is Not What Others Do For Us

that makes us love them. It is what we do for others.

This quote comes from the book, the Power Principle written by the late Dr. Blaine Lee. I began reading this book in the late fall of 2009, but haven't picked it up to finish, since. My mind, thoughts, and eyesight keep falling back to this book. Thus, somehow, it is time to pick it back up and learn more about the depths of this book. 

Blaine was vice president of Franklin Covey Co., and has numerous accolades and titles behind his name, and has influenced a greater number of folks that we can never begin to imagine. I was blessed to meet Blaine, but that perhaps is a story for another time. 

"We are all in the business of influence." "Sometimes was settle for less that we could, simply because we don't know what is possible. In this way, we become powerless through ignorance." "Nothing is as strong as gentleness; and nothing is so gentle as real strength."

Those are just a few rich tidbits from the book. Perhaps it is enticing you as a must-read, if God wills it.

To the point of this post. Sacrificial merit. Merit. Spiritual credit granted for good works. (no joke, I actually found that in the dictionary). Fortunately, I'm sure all Christians believe in Christian merit in this sense. In fact, I'm sure as Catholics, we are not alone in praying for our brothers in sisters and Christ. We take it a step beyond and invoke the intercession of the saints, but even that has to be more common than we realize among protestants... 

It is in offering sacrificial merit for others that we are better able to love them. There are couple of things that make the grace of this merit available to others. First, it must be willingly and freely given.  I recently saw my sister off to travel to Spain with the Kansas group for World Youth Day (what an incredible trip they must be having at present). However, driving fifty-plus miles out of my way to pick her up and then head to Wichita the weekend of the Midwest Catholic Family Conference, was not something I was willing to do. I did it, freely, but I had a selfish mindset the entire drive home and then to Wichita. Unfortunately, she did not benefit from the sacrifice I made to drive the extra miles. It was done out of duty, not love. Her jitters, stress of being gone the first few days of school, did not help to put her at ease as she sensed and was a poor soul of a recipient of my lack of love.

Second, in making the sacrifices or in offering prayers, we recognize, offer, and unite our smallest acts to that of Jesus, on the crucifix and throughout his Passion. It might be a simple, "Lord, I don't want to do this, but because I know you suffered more than I will ever have to for the salvation of souls, I will do it." In fact, acknowledging God in our suffering can even make it joyful. 

Finally, the third component making merit of our humble offerings, is willing it all for God's glory, not our own. Our actions may influence a different result than what we expect, but that's why we are not in control. Rather, we surrender all to God and His will for ourselves, and the intended (and unintended) recipients of the merits of our prayer and sacrifice.

These three components of sacrificial merit can be summed up in the phrase, "the willingness and the free choice to daily enter into the suffering, death, and resurrection of Jesus so that His kingdom will be built upon this earth among all people"

We influence people by praying for them, and in doing so, we soften our hearts towards them, especially those we find the hardest to love. Are you capable of loving the person hammering a nail through your flesh? Pray God will give you the grace to do so.

In Christ, through Mary.

P.S. The entire theme and message of the movie Fireproof is permeated in this concept.

Grace Falilng From On High

Welling up from deep inside. Hope given to humble souls. Promises to lead us home.

Whenever we say forgive, whenever we speak the words of Truth, You offer us the grace we need to follow after you. 

You offer us the GRACE we need to follow after you.

As I sit down to type this evening, these are the words in my lips and the song in my head from a blessed evening.  The rest of the day was a little less than desirable, but for that too, I praise God and thank Him. Let's get to it. What has gotten me to sing this song this evening?

I've returned from a trip to Walmart to gather a few items up for my classroom. One of these items including some fabric for a bulletin board. As I picked out my fabric, which was not hard to do, for the color I desired was right there shouting pick me, pick me, I noticed how busy the store was but how few associates were around. Seems as the college students are staking claim to their homes, and allowing Walmart to assist them. Regardless, there was no associate around to cut my fabric. After the fourth clank of the bell with the friendly sign reading, "Please ring for assistance," I opted to leave a post-it note with my desired amounts of fabric there while I traipsed across the store to find a specific item. I knew exactly where I needed to go, making it a quick trip to one end of the store, opposite from the items left on my list. 

As I returned to the fabric area, I noticed there was indeed an associate taking care of my polite request (I did say please and signed it with "valued customer"). Janelle, and older woman, had obviously worked a long shift and had all but fried her brain from the day. She willingly admitted it was embarrassing to mess up and not remember measurements in front of a young person. I politely agreed, but prompted her it was humbling and good for her soul. She agreed that pride doesn't get you anywhere. The rest of our conversation touched on Thomas Merton (I know, so cool right?), and the fact that she had finished reading "Seven Story Mountain" (a book I would like to read). She summed the book up in saying "Merton got so ground down that all there was left to do was God's will," or something along those lines. Sporting one of my many Prayer and Action t-shirts, she read the front of it. "So, you're like a missionary." After a hesitant but joyful pause, I said, "You could say that." Other bits and pieces of our conversation included, "I wish I wasn't so stubborn," with my response of, "I hear my friends say that pretty often. In fact, I also find myself saying that same thing."

I never found out if she was Catholic before her supervisor walked up to release her of her duties (she'd already stayed twenty minutes past the end of her shift). I moved along, grabbed my last few more items, offered a prayer for Janelle, and headed back home.

In reflection, it seems so very apparent that, when I step out of the way, and let the Holy Spirit work, I am blessed to be His instrument. In particular when I feel as though I am at my worst. Before leaving school earlier this evening, I journaled (typed) some quick thoughts about my day and saved it to a document I hope to continue throughout the semester. I was grumpy, and I knew it. I have to let go of my summer solitude. Okay. I knew adoration would be helpful and would prepare me for the week ahead. Thank you, Lord for that. 

Ultimately, what I am getting at in this post is something a priest told me in a recent confession of mine, in my admitting that I have not done enough to act on following God's will in my life. My mind has been willing, but my feet hadn't taken any steps yet. "Once you begin to start responding and acting on the promptings of God's grace, more grace will be given to you to accomplish the tasks He asks of you." Perhaps that is not verbatim, but a reward of grace is more grace. It is proving true for me. Hopefully it is proving true for you as well. 

In Him, through Mamma Mary, aww-spiration.

Quick Thoughts

Tomorrow begins the first official day for teachers in USD 448. It is much later than I had anticipated for hitting the hay in prior to the first of several two-a-day volleyball practices, in addition to staff development and final preparations for the semester. Regardless, I could not have asked for a better day to send me into my second semester of teaching. I am in a much different mindset going into this school year than I was starting in January. 

For those of you who were hoping for more from me this evening, I apologize. Prayers, that I will post yet this week with some of the wonderful realizations and blessings of the past seven days.

Keep praying, especially for those who you are called to bring closer to Christ.

Consider...

"The value of life does not depend upon the place we occupy. It depends upon the way we occupy that place."

~ St. Therese of Lisieux

Questions for the New Semester

A mentor of mine once posted this set of questions to me at the beginning of a semester in college. While I've not done the greatest job of revisiting and answering them each semester, I thought they would be a great tool to share.

The couple of times I have answered these questions, they are great to look back upon and see how I have grown. If you don't have an answer for all fifteen, pick eleven to answer. Check back half way through the semester or post the questions some where you will see them regularly to remind you of the progress you should be making.  Go on and copy this list of questions into a word or pages document and make the most of your semester.

Fifteen Questions for the New Semester                                    
1. What is one thing you could do this year to grow closer to God?

2. What is the most impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?

3. What is the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your relationship with your family?

4. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what is one thing you can do about it this year?
5. What is one thing you could do to learn more about your faith this year?

6. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?

7. What’s the most important decision you need to make this year?

8. What area of your life most needs simplifying, and what is one way you could simplify in that area?

9. What’s the most important need you feel burdened to meet this year?

10. What habit would you most like to establish this year?

11. Who do you most want to encourage this year? How do they best respond?

12. What is your most important financial goal this semester, and what is the most important step you can take toward achieving it?

13. What is the most important new item you want to buy this year?

14. What is the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your work life this year?

15. If those who know you best gave you one piece of advice, what would they say? Would they be right? What will you do about it?

Be true to yourself and grow as God is calling you to grow. In Him, through Mary, JKK

I Found It!

And what a joy it is to have found it!


The past two months I have had little motivation to do anything related to preparing for this coming school year. And in many ways, rightly so. I completely understand the need teachers have for summer break and feeding their person. We don't get a lot of it during the school year. 


However, this summer has been a struggle for me in ways of fighting my lack of motivation or rather beating myself up for it, but still not finding a way to overcome it. So what is it? I believe I have once again found my source of motivation. My students. 
Rummaging through my enrollment list, I recollect the relationships I started to build this past school year; the quite ones, the rowdy ones, the mischievous folk, the do-gooders, and the ones that are good at heart. Some give you hell, and on occasions, you have to give it right back to them. Ultimately, each one has found a space in my heart and I seek to expose them to ideas and opportunities beyond the little piece of land they call home. God-willing, I can do just that. My boredom, questions of if I really am following God's will, a fair amount of loneliness, distractions, and the redecorating (floors and walls) of my classroom have kept me from spending time at school or hashing out lesson plans. 


A few blessed opportunities of time spent around students - SCCL, POA planning, and county fairs, give me bits and pieces of motivation. However, these have been short lived. Two of those blessings were just with the officers, and frankly four students haven't sent me into a spring of productivity for more than a day or so. Second to these blessings have been some time spent with my colleagues in curving our technological capabilities to stay ahead of the students. Our school district has hopped aboard the iPad craze and is providing one to each of our high school students. I hope I'm ready to go fairly paperless this school year. I might have to be reminded that time spent putting my quizzes and tests on blackboard or other similar software will limit the amount of time I spend grading or accumulating grades.

As thunder and lighting roll around outside, teasing us of a chance of rain, I briefly walked the short block to school and grabbed a few items. With many items and resources still out of place, it simply feels more comfortable to sit here by the window at home, feeling the gradual cooling of the wind. I'm hopeful for rain. But I'm more hopeful for a blessed school year, and a very productive three weeks before the students walk through the doors. 

If you are willing to offer prayers for me, please pray for perseverance, prudence, trust, and productivity. Only by God's grace, can I be Christ to these students and this community.  

The Unknown

"We all have a fear of the unknown. Don't let fear drive you. You must have faith and trust. God has promised us a hundredfold and is true to His word."             ~ Sister Mary Jane Wallace

Come Holy Spirit

Come Holy Spirit, come by the most powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. 


I apologize for my absence on the blogging scene. Apparently, I don't have much to say. Unless, indeed I am ignoring the promptings of the Holy Spirit and not really doing what God is asking me to. We might all have a tendency to do that. How about a brief synopsis of the last month?


A) I survived my first semester as an agricultural educator!!! There were great times. There were not so great times. I mostly looked forward to the weekends (which is not the kind of teacher I want to be) to have more time to plan. Actually, God blessed me with numerous, almost bi-weekly, opportunities to see my brothers and sisters in Christ, or my immediate family. As a teacher, I learned a lot, mostly what not to do, and look forward to a year when I'm some-what prepared. That is, after I take a long enough break away from the classroom to be motivated to make some things happen. Come Holy Spirit. 

B) My second brother got married! Welcome to the family Katie! It's been almost a month, but the simple, smaller wedding was met with rejoicing, prayers, dancing, and great food. As we gradually get older, and find our place in life, I look forward to growing my relationship with my siblings. Prayers as Katie continues her job search as a DVM (veterinarian). Come Holy Spirit.

C) Prayer and Action is a wonderful "movement". "Program" doesn't quite describe it. I was blessed to spend one week in Junction City with almost 70 other college students performing Works of Mercy for many of the towns' residents. Seeing my old teammates bond together with a new team was an exciting experience, in that I can foresee some of the awesomeness they are all in for this summer. It was almost an affirmation that I was not supposed to be back on staff this summer. Team Denver and Team Kansas City went on to continue the experiences for other Dioceses - how sweet is that!? However, God didn't really let me get much sleep that week... Come Holy Spirit.


D) Teens Encounter Christ! One of my favorites about this spiritual movement is that you can keep coming back to serve. The college retreats are incredible, but your involvement is limited beyond graduation. Don't get me wrong, prayers go a long way. There is something to be said and continuous involvement in a community that continues to grow in love with God. I was blessed to serve along side some incredible people. To say the Holy Spirit was present throughout Pentecost weekend is a big understatement. Praise God for the way we were all able to more deeply encounter Christ in our lives. May we continue to do so. Come Holy Spirit.


E) As humbling as it is to admit, for about the next week after TEC, all I really wanted to do was sleep. Several days in a row, I spent only a couple hours at school, taking the plaques off the walls in my classroom to prep it for painting in the coming weeks. The beautiful thing about summer is that I can make it to a few more daily masses. Thank you, Lord, for that blessing, which is about the only thing that get me up for a few days. I have yet to build up my faith community at the parish I have finally registered at. Come Holy Spirit.


F) Sincere gratitude for the wonderful people who know me, yet continue to allow me to be a part of their lives. Nerts, blockus, good company and conversations have been a blessed part of my summer. Come Holy Spirit.


G) WHEAT HARVEST! I was more involved with wheat harvest this summer than I can recall having ever been. Well, kind of. One summer, I worked at the elevator probing the trucks and running test weights. I spent almost a full week, less a trip back to Inman in the middle of those days, at home on the farm. My farm visits of late have been less than 24 hours long and I hadn't really contributed much. I was reminded of responsibility and work ethic as I gathered eggs, sorted and vaccinated pigs, fed the bottle calf, made supper, and drove wheat truck (about seven hours a day for three days!). Yup, dad actually let me drive this year. Come Holy Spirit.



H) Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin. Home of Briggs and Stratton education training facility. Taking a lengthy road trip with a colleague of mine, we made the almost 800 mile trek north for a week of learning about small gas engines. Twenty-four teaches from all over -Alaska, Bermuda, Canada, Maryland, South Dakota, Arkansas, Texas and more - converged upon the training team for four long days that filled my brain to the brim. The week ended with packing our pallets of generously donated engines and training resources to be shipped back to our schools. THANK YOU! doesn't say enough. The week was filled with camaraderie - great conversations, Milwaukee Summerfest, food and more. Come Holy Spirit.


F) Here I sit on a Friday evening after the long trek back from Brookfield, WI, rambling on about the happenings of the past month. God has a hand in it all. I'm not sure how "Come Holy Spirit" ties into each of these brief anecdotes about my summer happenings, but I trust He did or will continue to make the most of the relationships built and the people met or influenced. Mostly, I've been reminded that I had not posted in awhile and should really make that happen. Thank you for reading through my ramblings. Something deeper and more thought provoking to come in the future... Come Holy Spirit. 

"God's Mercy is Greater!"

Here is an article shared with my by one of the individuals who I was blessed to travel to Israel with in the summer of 2009. It's a bit long, so set aside a short amount of time to read the whole thing. You'll be glad you did.

THE TEACHING OF ST. THERESE OF LISIEUX ON PURGATORY