October

October is my favorite month of the year. It could be because of the weather, because it is the month of the rosary, the month in which my birthday falls, when National FFA Convention is typically held, or just because God created it to be the greatest month of the year.

It's been a whirlwind of a fall 1st 9-weeks. Between being in my second semester of teaching and coaching volleyball, there is very little time to catch my breath. Fortunately, God gives us what we need when we need it. Recently I had a short breather. Not anything like what I was expecting. Prior to the first full week of the month, I was pondering allowing myself a mental-break-day from school. There is a lot going on, and it would be hard to tear myself away, let alone make the sub plans. However, God had something else in mind. 

On Sunday, October 2, coming out of my adoration hour, I noticed a couple of missed calls from home. Sometimes my family will leave me a message, other times not. This time, the latter occurred. Driving back to Inman, I called home, upon which Dad suggested I go visit Grandpa. He had fallen the night before and his kidneys were not doing to well. Since I had little planned, after a late lunch, my car proceeded north on 61 and then east on 56 with me inside. 

It had been a month since I had last seen Grandpa. In the third week of school, I had a dentist appointment that took me to Marion. Upon seeing Gpa, I pretty much broke. Tears started flowing as I was incredibly stressed and having a tough time getting adjusted. I didn't tell Gpa much about things, but rather was happy to be in the presence of someone who loved me for me, no questions asked. Grandpa was already at the stage where he did not stay awake for long periods of time, which was just as true October 2. In fact, he stayed awake for about 5 seconds at a time. Enough to see who was in the room, and ask a question or two. Grandma was keeping it together, so long as you didn't ask her how she was doing. Several of my aunts and uncles were around for the hour or so I was there. I had a hunch when I left, it might be the last time I see Grandpa. I did not voice my hunch, but did ask what the expected recovery was. 

Tuesday morning, I was walking the two blocks back to school with my students from our practice land judging experience when one of the secretaries came to share the news of G-pa's passing. I melted, tears started to come, received a hug, and proceed through the next class before figuring out that I just needed to get away and cry. So began the breather I needed. I took students to FFA on Wednesday, but then went ahead and took off Thursday and Friday.

Thursday evening after the Rosary led by Rev. Fr. Paul Oborny, we all gathered at Grandma's house for grub and family time together. Before heading out, Grandma handed me my birthday card. She does well to pick out cards, this one reading, "A Granddaughter is - Love that captures your heart the moment she arrives..." This phrase expresses the how I felt when walking into Grandpa or Grandma's presence. And the card had been signed since September 29 - or so the check says so.

The next day was a tough one. My brother Greg made pancakes for my immediate family. The funeral mass was peaceful, as was the burial. Lots of flowers and plants, lots of friends and community members attended in support. Grandpa was a tremendous individual, and I'm grateful to have been impacted by his life in many ways. 

My selfishness still was getting the best of me, especially when announcement was made by my great-uncle that it was my birthday and everyone began to sing. I was not pleased; embarrassed and a trite upset. I didn't pout too much, but allowed one or two people to know that I didn't appreciate the attention so much. (I kind of like hidden-ness.)

I'm sure I still don't really comprehend the fullness of why we got to bury Gpa on my birthday. He got to be buried on the Memorial of Our Lady of the Rosary. Mamma Mary has many titles, and what better one to be saying when Gpa got to run into her arms. He was very fond of the prayer. What better month to go to heaven?

Much like Christ had to leave the apostles to send them the Holy Spirit, I hope Grandpa is better able to be by my side in spirit, praying rosaries with my Guardian Angel.

There is still much to experience in this beautiful month. 

Thank you to those of you who helped me to feel and experience the love of those who love and care for me. God Bless you always. Mamma Mary keep you.