When Your Not Listening, ...

God Will Find Other Ways to Speak to You.

This morning, as I was packing my bag to head home for a couple of days to spend time with family (not gonna lie, it's a bit lonely around here), my great uncle called to ask me for my e-mail address. Fr. Paul is a retired priest for the Wichita Diocese who has been God's blessed instrument in my life on numerous occasions. Today was no exception. He simply told me that he had an advent reflection to share with me. I provided the requested information, shared an brief exchange about Christmas day plans (to see if our paths would meet), and exchanged Christmas blessings. Not thinking much of it, but always grateful to hear from Fr. Paul, I figured I would soon find his e-mail in my inbox.

I will also let you in on another short story in my life. There are only 9 days left in the month of December. According to facebook, there are five Catholic events that I have RSVP'd to attend, all after the Christmas day festivities. Originally three of them were going to be lock-in's, which is not good for developing the sleep schedule I should have as a teacher. Fortunately, one has been altered to an almost all day retreat. Secondly, two of the events now conflict; well planning for one event conflicts with attending another. A dilemma I discovered last night. What am I to do? 

Here is Fr. Paul's e-mail:

I found myself in a dilemma a week ago.  It dawned on my brain that I had double-scheduled myself.  I agreed with 2 different Piests to cover their Parishes while they were away.  I was starting to feel upset at myself for doing such a "dumb" thing.  Then I thought of St. Joseph - how he found himself in a dilemma with Mary, his beloved finance.  She was pregnant and he wasn't involved.  We read that an Angel came to enlighten him.  He believed the Angel and it all worked out.    So I went to our Chapel and prayed to St. Joseph to help me out of the dilemma.  Leaving  the Chapel, I returned to my room, the phone rang. It was one of the Priests telling me that I need not come to his Parish because his plans have changed.  Wow! I thanked the Lord and St. Joseph.  When in a dilemma, go to Joseph!!!    

St. Joseph, pray for us. Aww-spiration.

Here is another reflection of sorts that seems to be another means of God talking through another person, because I've not listened directly to Him. 

Rejoice! Ero Cras! - Emmanuel

O come, O come, Emmanuel,
and ransom captive Israel,
that mourns in lonely exile here
until the Son of God appear.
 

Rejoice! Rejoice!Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

 O Emmanuel, king and lawgiver, desire of the nations, Savior of all people, come and set us free, Lord our God.

Emmanuel

God with us

Isaias 7:14 Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign. Behold a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son and his name shall be called Emmanuel.

Finally! The last O Antiphon, which the birth of Christ, our Lord is upon us.

While I've been familiar with and praying Liturgy of the Hours for some time now, it was not until preparations for a retreat that fell in the fall of 2009 that I really understood the O Antiphons and the role they play in preparing us for Christmas. As my first post on this topic told, "The seven "O Antiphons" (also called the "Greater Antiphons" or "Major Antiphons") are prayers that come from the Breviary's Vespers during the Octave (8 days) before Christmas Eve, a time which is called the "Golden Nights.""

Each Antiphon begins with "O" and addresses Jesus with a unique title which comes from the prophecies of Isaias and Micheas (Micah), and whose initials, when read backwards, form an acrostic for the Latin "Ero Cras" which means "Tomorrow I come." Those titles for Christ are:

Sapientia
Adonai
Radix Jesse
Clavis David
Oriens
Rex Gentium
Emmanuel

Hopefully, God has blessed you these last seven days to see a deeper meaning of the Advent season in preparing our hearts and our families for Christmas, the coming of Christ. Not just buying gifts, putting up the Christmas tree or baking the ever sweet treats that come with the season, but really reflecting on the Savior of the World, come to set us free from darkness and death.

A sister in Christ of mine just posted a note on facebook today of recognizing the simplicity of the season. She indicated trying to follow a complex prayer and advent reflection schedule, ... well, she says very well what much of my advent season has been, less the actually lights and decorations (since I moved I didn't put much up). Aww-spiration.

Here goes:

"Light Displays. Wreaths. Candies. Presents. Ornaments. Parties. All of these items seem to be expected parts of the season leading up to Christmas. And yet, as Advent draws to an end and Christmas draws near, I've realized that the bright lights, shiny gift wrap, and parties no longer attract my attention.

I noticed this one night about a week ago as I sat in my living room trying to understand what I should be getting out of Advent. Our Christmas tree was very beautifully lit up in the dark, but that is not what captured my heart.

What captured my heart wasn't the pretty tree, but a simple wooden Nativity scene above the cabinet where the television sits. Looking into the room, you can hardly see it because the wood almost matches the entertainment center. And the Nativity Scene isn't anything like the elaborate ones you see outside of many churches. In fact, the wooden figures don't even have faces. But the simplicity of the Nativity Scene mesmerized me. It left me in complete awe. In it contained the simplicity of one of the biggest Christian beliefs. And it was simple. It was humble. It was the God of the Universe coming to mankind, not in an elaborate show with flashing lights, but as a baby boy in a manger. The humbleness and simplicity of Jesus' birth leaves me in awe - how he left all the elaborate beauty and richness in the Kingdom of Heaven to dwell with us on Earth - in a world filled with dirtiness, sinfulness, meagerness and brokenness.

And not just Jesus, but also Mary and Joseph. Was it not the simplicity of Mary's faith and her "yes" to God's will that contributed so profoundly to this plan of our salvation? Her ability to trust and not make God's message at the Annunciation too complex, but to humbly reply "I am the handmaid of the Lord, be it done unto me according to Thy Word" shows a deep faith I dearly hope to one day possess! Joseph too was a good model of simplicity and humility. No word is attributed to him in the Bible, which is sometimes overlooked by many today. No word - he didn't need to have the attention, he didn't need to really be recognized for his role in the Holy Family.

I could go on and on about the simplicity of the manger, of the shepherds, and possibly even the Magi. But it is truly the simplicity and humility of Christ's birth that should capture our lives, transform our souls, and renew our hearts. The bright lights, gift exchanges, and decorations are fun, but they are not at the center of what Christmas and Advent are about.

I found this simplicity again in the Church this Advent. When the rest of the world put up Christmas decorations days after Thanksgiving, the Church put up a plain Advent wreath with four simple candles. When radios tried tirelessly to make the most popular and catchy Christmas carols, the Church faithful sang over and over the ancient lyrics of a simple hymn, "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel."

And now, with two days remaining in Advent, I have finally realized what I should be doing and getting out of Advent - simplicity. I tried to have a complex prayer schedule to ready myself for Christ's birth. I tried to find complex ways to do alms giving and fast and grow in my faith. However, the times that benefited me the most were the simple, humble experiences where I just gave God the time to gently take control and lead me. I am guilty of trying to make my faith journey too complex, but now I realize the closer you are to God, the simpler you become. God has the plan; He just wants simple souls to trust in His plan.

May God bless you and help you grow in faith this Christmas,"

Rejoice! Ero Cras! - Rex Gentium

O come, Desire of nations, bind
in one the hearts of all mankind;
bid thou our sad divisions cease,
and be thyself our King of Peace.

O King of all the nations, the only joy of every human heart; O Keystone of the mighty arch of man, come and save the creature your fashioned from the dust. 

Rex Gentium

King of all Nations, King of the Gentiles

Isaias 9:7 His empire shall be multiplied, and there shall be no end of peace: he shall sit upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom; to establish it and strengthen it with judgment and with justice, from henceforth and for ever: the zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this. Isaias 2:4 And he shall judge the Gentiles, and rebuke many people: and they shall turn their swords into ploughshares, and their spears into sickles: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they be exercised any more to war.

Rejoice! Ero Cras! - Oriens

O come, thou Dayspring, come and cheer
our spirits by thine advent here;
disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
and death's dark shadows put to flight.

O Radiant Dawn, splendor of eternal light, sun of justice: come, shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death. 

Oriens

Radiant Dawn, Dayspring

Isaias 9:2 The people that walked in darkness, have seen a great light: to them that dwelt in the region of the shadow of death, light is risen.

Rejoice! Ero Cras! - Clavis David

O come, thou Key of David, come,
and open wide our heavenly home;
make safe the way that leads on high,
and close the path to misery. 

O Key of David, O royal Power of Israel controlling at your will the gate of heaven: come, break down the prison walls of death for those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death; and lead your captive people into freedom.

Clavis David

Key of David

Isaias 22:22 And I will lay the key of the house of David upon his shoulder: and he shall open, and none shall shut: and he shall shut, and none shall open. Isaias 9:6 For a child is born to us, and a son is given to us, and the government is upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, God the Mighty, the Father of the world to come, the Prince of Peace.

We're Not Alone in This Fight

I was really hoping not to interrupt my "O Antiphon" posts, but I think this occasion calls for some Holy Spirit guided blogging.

Having just moved to a new home, hopefully permanent home for the next few years, I'm getting settled, but I'm also spending a lot of time by myself. This is the biggest place I've lived, with the fewest amount of people - just me. (Hopefully another blog with pictures coming soon...) I don't exactly have a lot of stuff to fill the place, so it feels pretty empty. The issue here is that I've been being convinced that I need more stuff to fill the place, even though I have no means of financing such a project. The worrisome attitude that has come with such thoughts occupied my mind for several days this week, despite spending some time in the classroom, meeting with my superintendent and principal. 

One thing I've realized is that I probably should not spend quite so much time by myself, for even though I don't know many people here yet, I'm excited to begin teaching. Second, that I don't have to fight the temptations of the world and/or flesh by myself. In a simple text to a friend, who spared a few words of prayer, I was quickly feeling more at home and less concerned about what I have or don't have to fill my space.  This is not the only occasion where technology (texting or facebook) has come in handy for calling on my brothers and sisters in Christ to help carry the burden that is our daily struggles. Even this evening, a framily member has asked to be kept in our prayers. Always, was my response. For it is through our relationships and prayer that we build each other up, allowing God to do more good work within and through us. 

Another awesome realization of the past day or two is the idea of Hope - and allowing ourselves to hope in the plans God has for us. Yes, we have many challenges to face in life, but what a small cost in comparison to the good work that God is doing in our lives, when we let him. Dare to dream big with God, and let him blow your dreams away with even better and bigger plans. (listen to Fr. Robert Barron's sermon for more details). Aww-spiration!

Rejoice! Ero Cras! - Radix Jesse

O come, thou Rod of Jesse, free
thine own from Satan's tyranny;
from depths of hell thy people save,
and give them victory over the grave.

O come, thou Root of Jesse's tree,
an ensign of thy people be;
before thee rulers silent fall;
all peoples on thy mercy call. 

O Flower of Jesse's stem, you have been raised up as a sign for all peoples; kings stand silent in your presence; the nations bow down in worship before you. Come, let nothing keep you from coming to our aid.

Radix Jesse

Root of Jesse

Isaias 11:1 And there shall come forth a rod out of the root of Jesse, and a flower shall rise up out of his root. Isaias 11:10 In that day the root of Jesse, who standeth for an ensign of the people, him the Gentiles shall beseech, and his sepulchre shall be glorious. Micheas 5:1 Now shalt thou be laid waste, O daughter of the robber: they have laid siege against us, with a rod shall they strike the cheek of the judge of Israel. Romans 15:8-13 For I say that Christ Jesus was minister of the circumcision for the truth of God, to confirm the promises made unto the fathers. But that the Gentiles are to glorify God for his mercy, as it is written: Therefore will I confess to thee, O Lord, among the Gentiles, and will sing to thy name. And again he saith: Rejoice, ye Gentiles, with his people. And again: Praise the Lord, all ye Gentiles; and magnify him, all ye people. And again Isaias saith: There shall be a root of Jesse; and he that shall rise up to rule the Gentiles, in him the Gentiles shall hope. Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing; that you may abound in hope, and in the power of the Holy Ghost. Apocalypse 5:1-5 And I saw in the right hand of him that sat on the throne, a book written within and without, sealed with seven seals. And I saw a strong angel, proclaiming with a loud voice: Who is worthy to open the book, and to loose the seals thereof? And no man was able, neither in heaven, nor on earth, nor under the earth, to open the book, nor to look on it. And I wept much, because no man was found worthy to open the book, nor to see it. And one of the ancients said to me: Weep not; behold the lion of the tribe of Juda, the root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof.

Rejoice! Ero Cras! - Adonai

O come, O come, great Lord of might, 

who to thy tribes on Sinai's height
in ancient times once gave the law
in cloud and majesty and awe.

O sacred Lord of ancient Israel, who showed yourself to Moses in the burning bush, who gave him the holy law on Sinai mountain: come, stretch out your mighty hand to set us free.

Adonai

Lord of Israel

Isaias 11:4-5 But he shall judge the poor with justice, and shall reprove with equity the meek of the earth: and he shall strike the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips he shall slay the wicked. And justice shall be the girdle of his loins: and faith the girdle of his reins. Isaias 33:22 For the Lord is our judge, the Lord is our lawgiver, the Lord is our king: he will save us.

Rejoice! Ero Cras! - Sapientia

O come, thou Wisdom from on high,
who orderest all things mightily;
to us the path of knowledge show,
and teach us in her ways to go.

 
The O Antiphons

The seven "O Antiphons" (also called the "Greater Antiphons" or "Major Antiphons") are prayers that come from the Breviary's Vespers during the Octave before Christmas Eve, a time which is called the "Golden Nights."

Each Antiphon begins with "O" and addresses Jesus with a unique title which comes from the prophecies of Isaias and Micheas (Micah), and whose initials, when read backwards, form an acrostic for the Latin "Ero Cras" which means "Tomorrow I come." Those titles for Christ are:

Sapientia
Adonai
Radix Jesse
Clavis David
Oriens
Rex Gentium
Emmanuel

O Wisdom, O holy Word of God, you govern all creation with your strong yet tender care. Come and show you people the way to salvation.

 These glorious titles in more detail:

Title:	Meaning:	Old Testament prophetic verses:
Sapientia	Wisdom	Isaias 11:2-3 And the spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him: the spirit of wisdom, and of understanding, the spirit of counsel, and of fortitude, the spirit of knowledge, and of godliness. And he shall be filled with the spirit of the fear of the Lord, He shall not judge according to the sight of the eyes, nor reprove according to the hearing of the ears. Isaias 28:29 This also is come forth from the Lord God of hosts, to make his counsel wonderful, and magnify justice.

 

As We Wait in JoYfuL HopE for the Coming of Our Savior

Happy Gaudete Sunday!  I'm a day late at getting this posted, but this Sunday when we light the rose colored candle on our Advent wreathes represents the JoYfuL HopE we have for the coming of our Savior. Christmas is drawing near! The celebration of the birth of our Lord is drawing near. Thus, we are to be filled with joy and thanksgiving for all the blessings in our lives and those to come. God has promised a Savior. He is about to arrive. Have we cleaned house spiritually to be ready for Him?

I can think of two times in the past few years when I have been "exuberantly joyful" and have shared such an expression with those around me. First, in late fall 2008 and early spring of 2009 this seemed to be me. I was so full of joy. The fall semester had brought on a challenge: God was calling me closer and closer to himself, and I had been running the other way for a while. Then, what (or who) I was running towards was gone. For most of September and the beginning of October I was kept myself extra busy and did not face my grief. Some where along the way, I broke (October 2 - Feast of Guardian Angels). Long story short, I attended the Prayer and Action reunion in early November, where a seminarian reminded me that pink (rose) is the color of joy in the Catholic church. I've always been a sucker for the color pink. Short story - I began to seek a deeper relationship with Christ, and even began to look into considering religious life (more about all that another time...). I was joyful.

The second occasion in which I expressed and experienced "exuberant joy" was this past January 2010. A fellow K-Stater and I were up to some spiritual mischief with green scapulars. Also, I had just returned from Christmas break, which had included a trip to Orlando, Florida for the National FOCUS conference. Hmm.

On these two occasions, I felt closer to God than most any other time in my life. That joy is something I wish I could have everyday. Those glimpses of true joy are reminders to me that God's will is being done in my life, in his time. The baby Jesus was born at the right time, and fulfilled the promise of a savior (which we see in the death and resurrection of Christ, later). On this Sunday of Joy, I refocus the hope of God's will being done in my life in His time. Pslam 138:8 "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for you."

I've just moved (today) from my student teaching location to my real job location.  I'm a college graduate. I'm at a new place in life, and have many concerns about my future. It is strange to think that I don't have to keep my boxes around, as I really might be able to live here for more than a year. None the less, I have a joyful hope for all that God will do with me here in this place. "Let it be done unto me, according to your word."

I leave you with the prayer immediately following the Our Father during Mass, when the Priest says:  Deliver us, Lord, from every evil, and grant us peace in our day. In your mercy keep us free from sin and protect us from all anxiety as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

We are reminded at every Mass we attend to wait in JoYfuL HopE, for the coming of Christ in our lives, and eventually, our arrival into eternal life. Aww-spiration.

Show Us the Path that Leads to Him

One of the Intercessions in this evening's vespers reads...

You came from the Father, 

- show us the path that leads to him.

I often travel between Cherryvale and Independence, whether for weekday mass, adoration, or a Walmart run. While I usually travel the newest highway and most direct route, there is an old highway that runs between the two towns. My cooperating teacher showed it to me in our travels one day. I never think of it when leaving Cherryvale, but often do when leaving Independence. The one time I tried to return to Cherryvale from Independence, I got myself lost on some back roads with some excellent scenery and landscaping of southeast Kansas. I still have yet to travel the right path to reach my destination without too many detours or something that catches my attention and gets my off course.

This the small anecdote or comparison I thought of when I read this intercession. One who knows the path, or has traveled the path can lead us on that path. Christ came from the Father, became human in all ways but sin, and led the way back to the Father. Whatever route we are taking to get to the Father may be beautiful - as we each won't travel the exact same path - but there is only one who knows the way. Follow Him. 

Come, Lord Jesus! Aww-spiration.

It is Advent!

What a wonderful time of year! I'm always a bit skeptical of the people who put their Christmas trees up right after Halloween, but since today in the first Sunday in Advent, I'm wondering why we have yet to put up our tree. Things are a bit crazy at home. Dad's project list continues to grow before he can tackle almost any of them. Plus the weather keeps him on his toes. Mom does too much to have time to put up a tree, and my sister is hardly around to eat meals, let alone decorate. Hopefully before my next trip home, there will be a tree up. I cannot hardly put one up myself in SEK, as I will soon be graduating and moving to my real job/grown up person location. Yikes. 

Thus the Advent season is appropriate as there are many preparations that must be made for all that is to happen in the next five weeks. Be sure to prepare your hearts for the coming of Our Lord. Enjoy this tidbit on the Twelve Days of Christmas. 

ORIGIN OF "THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS"
An Underground Catechism

You're all familiar with the Christmas song, "The Twelve Days of Christmas" I think. To most it's a delightful nonsense rhyme set to music. But it had a quite serious purpose when it was written.

It is a good deal more than just a repetitious melody with pretty phrases and a list of strange gifts.

Catholics in England during the period 1558 to 1829, when Parliament finally emancipated Catholics in England, were prohibited from ANY practice of their faith by law - private OR public. It was a crime to BE a Catholic.

"The Twelve Days of Christmas" was written in England as one of the "catechism songs" to help young Catholics learn the tenets of their faith - a memory aid, when to be caught with anything in *writing* indicating adherence to the Catholic faith could not only get you imprisoned, it could get you hanged, or shortened by a head - or hanged, drawn and quartered, a rather peculiar and ghastly punishment I'm not aware was ever practiced anywhere else.

Hanging, drawing and quartering involved hanging a person by the neck until they had almost, but not quite, suffocated to death; then the party was taken down from the gallows, and disembowelled while still alive; and while the entrails were still lying on the street, where the executioners stomped all over them, the victim was tied to four large farm horses, and literally torn into five parts - one to each limb and the remaining torso.

The songs gifts are hidden meanings to the teachings of the faith.

The "true love" mentioned in the song doesn't refer to an earthly suitor, it refers to God Himself. The "me" who receives the presents refers to every baptized person.

The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus Christ, the Son of God. In the song, Christ is symbolically presented as a mother partridge which feigns injury to decoy predators from her helpless nestlings, much in memory of  the expression of Christ's sadness over the fate of Jerusalem:
"Jerusalem! Jerusalem! How often would I have sheltered thee under my wings, as a hen does her chicks, but thou wouldst not have it so..."

The other symbols mean the following:

2 Turtle Doves = The Old and New Testaments
3 French Hens = Faith, Hope and Charity, the Theological Virtues
4 Calling Birds = the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists
5 Golden Rings = The first Five Books of the Old Testament, the "Pentateuch", which gives the history of man's fall from grace.
6 Geese A-laying = the six days of creation
7 Swans A-swimming = the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, the seven sacraments
8 Maids A-milking = the eight beatitudes
9 Ladies Dancing = the nine Fruits of the Holy Spirit
10 Lords A-leaping = the ten commandments
11 Pipers Piping = the eleven faithful apostles
12 Drummers Drumming = the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed
                                                                             --Fr. Hal Stockert, Fishnet

I Don't Understand, But I'm Grateful for This Feeling

Do you ever just get a feeling that you are being used as God's instrument, even though you may not even understand a lick of what's going below the surface of those around you? That's how I feel about my experiences today...

First, it was wonderful to attend the Allen County Community College Women in Agriculture Conference. It made for a great last day before Thanksgiving break, and I think the girls we took really enjoyed it and got something out of the sessions they attended. For me personally, it was getting to see a former national officer facilitate a high estrogen large group session. This was followed by sitting down with a sixth of those same young ladies and getting to some deeper questions. 

As I observed these events transpiring, I couldn't help but think back to the time when this individual and I were contending to become the Kansas national officer candidate and all the events that have happened in our lives since then. In one of my reflective moments this morning, I realized the true reason I hoped to become a national officer back then - to gain the training and facilitation skills in hopes of better connecting with and influencing the lives of young people. It was a selfish reason. I wanted to have the skills and earn the recognition. Reality: there is no way I could have left home for a whole year to travel across the country visiting high schools and facilitating conferences. It's just not in me. Besides, this person did and continues to do a much better job at such things, and keeps a humility about themselves, much better than I ever could. Praise God for knowing more about what both of us truly wanted and were capable of doing or handling. In order to gain those skills I thought I might obtain through working for National FFA, I realize now, I will just have to apply myself and really take note of how I interact with my students. 

Second, making the peaceful 160 mile trek from southeast Kansas to my home high school to watch the school play. My travels were quiet and allowed me some good time to reflect. Watching the play brought back a few fond memories of play practice and old high school times. The cast did a really good job this evening. It was also enjoyable to see and converse with many members of the community in which I grew up. I'll admit I've kind of forgotten what it is like to know almost everyone in the gymnasium.

Another outcome of my travels this evening was my sending a text message to an old high school friend of mine. As former fellow CYO members, God is at the base of our friendship, even if we haven't talked or seen each other in several months or maybe even over a year. Some how, our texting quickly turned to the many blessings in my life and how out of touch with God this person is. As I continued my attempts of being encouraging about getting back in touch with God, thankfully, this person did not just tell me to be quiet or push me aside. In reality I don't know how they took all my comments, but I hope and pray that I am being an instrument of God in their life. It would be much easier to meet up with them and have a life talk, but I'll have to settle with text messages for the time being.

Finally, it is good to be home with family. During Thanksgiving break, I shall not cease to praise God and be thankful for the abundant blessings of my life. What better way to give God thanks than celebrating Mass and the Eucharist. The word eucharistia is Greek for thanksgiving. Aww-spiration.

Be Satisfied with Me by St. Anthony of Padua

Be Satisfied with Me

by St. Anthony of Padua

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But to a Christian, God says, "No, not until you are satisfied,
Fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me.
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone.

Discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship,
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united to another
Until you are united with me.
Exclusive of anyone or anything else.
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, to stop wishing, and allow me to give you
The most thrilling plan existing . . . one you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you.

You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.
Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you.
Just wait, that's all. Don't be anxious, don't worry
Don't look around at things others have gotten
Or that I have given them
Don't look around at the things you think you want,
Just keep looking off and away up to me,
Or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love
Far more wonderful than you could dream of.

You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready,
I am working even at this moment
To have both of you ready at the same time.
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with me.

The Secret

Something simple to share on the Solemnity of Christ the King

The Secret

One day, one friend asked another,
'How is it that you are always so happy?
You have so much energy,
And you never seem to get down.'
 

With her eyes smiling, she said,
'I know the Secret!'
'What secret is that?'
To which she replied,
'I'll tell you all about it,
But you have to promise to
Share the Secret with others.'
 

'The Secret is this:

I have learned there is little I can do
In my life that will make me truly happy.
I must depend on God to make
Me happy and to meet my needs.
When a need arises in my life,
I have to trust God to supply
According to HIS riches.
I have learned most of the time
I don't need half of what I think I do.
He has never let me down.
Since I learned that 'Secret', I am happy.'
 

The questioner's first thought was,
'That's too simple!'
But upon reflecting over her own life
She recalled how she thought a bigger house
Would make her happy, but it didn't!
She thought a better paying job
Would make her happy, but it hadn't.
When did she realize her greatest happiness?
Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren,
Playing games, eating pizza or reading a story,
A simple gift from God.
 

Now you know it too!
We can't depend on people to make us happy.
Only GOD in His infinite wisdom can do that.
Trust HIM!
And now I pass the Secret on to you!
So once you get it, what will you do?

The Man and The Birds

Last Tuesday evening was several days ago, when an idea for a blog came to me. In fact, I thought it a good enough of an idea to come back to and type it up. 

I spent more hours at school in the evenings planning last week. Mostly because I neglected to do any extra planning the week prior or over the weekend. Sometimes you just have to let your mind get away. Thus theses extra hours might have caused me to be a bit more stressed. Perhaps I was just that frustrated with a particular group of students. Some of them don't understand the concept of come to class (prepared!), listen, do what the teacher asks, put forth some effort and try. On this particular Tuesday morning, I was utterly frustrated with a few particular young individuals. I am not typically a mean sort of person and thus disciplining students is not my strong point. Yet, I must also learn not to let them walk all over me - or things will be miserable for everyone involved. The class ended with no one getting hurt and the rest of the day went on as planned. Still, I must care because I was about fuming over the course of the first 50 minutes of the day. Sometimes I think it would be easier to become a student, get on their level, show them how to act, lead by example and be a stronger influence in their lives. 

I was able to relate this experience to a couple of scriptural passages. The first is that day's Gospel passage. John 2:13-22. In short, Jesus clears out the temple of those who had made it a marketplace (emphasis removed). "Zeal for your house will consume me." In class that day, I was zealous for the classroom to be used as it was intended. I sent a student or two away. Hopefully I've learned something and the days will improve.  

The second new and deeper understanding of the day, I've already slightly mentioned. Take this story, "The Man and the Birds," made popular by Paul Harvey.

The man to whom I'm going to introduce you was not a scrooge, he was a kind decent, mostly good man. Generous to his family, upright in his dealings with other men. But he just didn't believe all that incarnation stuff which the churches proclaim at Christmas Time. It just didn't make sense and he was too honest to pretend otherwise. He just couldn't swallow the Jesus Story, about God coming to Earth as a man.

"I'm truly sorry to distress you," he told his wife, "but I'm not going with you to church this Christmas Eve." He said he'd feel like a hypocrite. That he'd much rather just stay at home, but that he would wait up for them. And so he stayed and they went to the midnight service.

Shortly after the family drove away in the car, snow began to fall. He went to the window to watch the flurries getting heavier and heavier and then went back to his fireside chair and began to read his newspaper. Minutes later he was startled by a thudding sound...Then another, and then another. Sort of a thump or a thud...At first he thought someone must be throwing snowballs against his living room window. But when he went to the front door to investigate he found a flock of birds huddled miserably in the snow. They'd been caught in the storm and, in a desperate search for shelter, had tried to fly through his large landscape window.

Well, he couldn't let the poor creatures lie there and freeze, so he remembered the barn where his children stabled their pony. That would provide a warm shelter, if he could direct the birds to it. Quickly he put on a coat, galoshes, tramped through the deepening snow to the barn. He opened the doors wide and turned on a light, but the birds did not come in. He figured food would entice them in. So he hurried back to the house, fetched bread crumbs, sprinkled them on the snow, making a trail to the yellow-lighted wide open doorway of the stable. But to his dismay, the birds ignored the bread crumbs, and continued to flap around helplessly in the snow. He tried catching them...He tried shooing them into the barn by walking around them waving his arms...Instead, they scattered in every direction, except into the warm, lighted barn.

And then, he realized that they were afraid of him. To them, he reasoned, I am a strange and terrifying creature. If only I could think of some way to let them know that they can trust me...That I am not trying to hurt them, but to help them. But how? Because any move he made tended to frighten them, confuse them. They just would not follow. They would not be led or shooed because they feared him.

"If only I could be a bird," he thought to himself, "and mingle with them and speak their language. Then I could tell them not to be afraid. Then I could show them the way to safe, warm...to the safe warm barn. But I would have to be one of them so they could see, and hear and understand." At that moment the church bells began to ring. The sound reached his ears above the sounds of the wind. And he stood there listening to the bells - Adeste Fidelis - listening to the bells pealing the glad tidings of Christmas. And he sank to his knees in the snow.

 If I could better remember what it was like to be a student, perhaps I could better reach them. At the same time, it is also my job to look at the research done by numerous education professionals and allow their wisdom to guide me in becoming a better teacher. Guide me, Good Lord, to do your will. Thank you for the insights. Aww-spiration.

STOP STRUGGLING

I receive a daily e-mail from a distant cousin of mine entitled, "Morning Tea." Today was one of those days where I felt as though I was flailing - stressing more than I've stressed all semester. Today's e-mail is exactly what I needed to read - in more than one way. God is really talking to me today. I've taken some time to listen, but probably not near enough. Have you noticed God talking to you, lately? Aww-spiration. God is great!

“Flesh gives birth to flesh, but . . . spirit gives birth to spirit.’  John 3:6

If you want to see God's promise fulfilled in your life this year, do not rush things - or you might give birth to an Ishmael!  Ishmael was born because Sarah tried to orchestrate events and bail God out.  And the world has been living with the consequences ever since.  Be sure that your plans are born of God's Spirit.  Do not try to salvage anything that is flesh-based. God said, '. . . my covenant will I establish with Isaac . . .' (Genesis 17:21), because Isaac was the result of God's will, done God's way, in God's time.

Jesus said, 'Flesh gives birth to flesh, but . . . Spirit gives birth to spirit.' Everything that is conceived in you comes from one of two sources; the flesh or the Spirit.  People will try to involve you in all kinds of schemes to rescue and promote yourself. But God does not need help to bless you; He can do it all by Himself.  That is why, whenever Satan attacks, you need to be able to point him to your spiritual birthplace and remind him that you did not begin this project, therefore you do not have to finish it.  What God ordains, He sustains!

Today, if God is dealing with carnality, pride or any other obstacle in your path, do not get in His way.  Like rescuing a drowning man who is frantically trying to save himself, until you stop flailing around God cannot do anything for you.  Give it up!  Try less and trust more!  The Bible says, '. . . he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion . . . (Philippians 1:6 NIV).  So relax and stop struggling!

Do Something for Someone Else, Every Day

In the life of a teacher, at least five days a week are committed to helping students learn and to making a difference in their lives. Some times, on days like today, when we don't have school, I am a loss of what to do with myself. I know that I should have spent a significant amount of time planning for the coming week, but I lacked the motivation and the drive. Spending a few hours in the classroom this afternoon, it just wasn't the same without any one else in the building besides the janitors. Even the few questionable arc welds I put out this afternoon did not motivate me to create those lesson plans that are vital to helping me be a prepared and effective teacher.  

Some of the rosaries I've made of late.

Finally, at a loss, I texted my good friend Torie, saying, "I'm in need of company and motivation. Any suggestions?" (It has been kind of a lonely day with out instructing several groups of students) Not five minutes later did I text her back saying, "Answering my own question. Do something for someone else." Her response came within three minutes of my second text, "You are good! If it was me... I would write a letter or work out or call a friend!"  By that time, I had grabbed some string to sit on the porch swing on this cool autumn afternoon to tie knots and make a rosary. I had also left my phone inside, and a short while later simply returned to read Torie's message, responding with, "Making a rosary helped some. I'll proceed through the list."


Well, I've not exactly tackled each of those items on the list that Torie sent me, but I did attempt to take my focus off myself and consider some people in my life who I've not talked to for quite some time. I had several facebook messages and wall posts I have been meaning to respond to for quite some time.  I've tackled those this evening. I had not talked to my brother Alfonse for quite awhile either. We got a good forty plus minutes of conversation in on his drive to Manhattan. I am not really one for phone talking, but with Alfonse, I can manage it.  Hopefully, and God willing, I will hash out a letter or two yet this evening before hitting the hay. 


All this reminds me of a story from sophomore year of college. It was spring break, and I was living in the Royal Towers complex in Manhattan with two close friends of mine. I had decided to stick around while they had gone home. Most college spring breaks met me with a sewing project, which was the same that year. At one point, I recall sitting on the couch with my laptop, browsing facebook and feeling sorry for myself that no one had written on my wall in quite some time. It dawned on me. "Jackie, people aren't just going to feel sorry for you and write on your wall from time to time. You've got to be generous and write on other people's walls." 

While my initial intention might have been to receive some affection from others, even through a simple facebook wall post, I learned in that moment that we often feel better about ourselves when we do something for someone else. That is, when we focus on others, we feel like a better person (even if that's not what we think about). This idea is also supported by Sean Covey's 7 Habits for Teens, in the chapter on the Personal Bank account. Make personal deposits into your own account and into other people's accounts by doing something for them, especially without them asking. There is a balance between gloating and humbly helping others. What have you done for others lately?

This evening, I feel much better about myself for the time I have invested in other people, even if through technology and social media such as facebook and cell phones, and not person to person. And hopefully, tomorrow, at the start of a new day, I will be more geared up for tackling the tasks I need to. Praise God. Thanks Torie for being a resounding wall. Aww-spiration.

The Other Side

Thursday morning. Courtyard Mariott Hotel. 30 minutes from Conseco Field House. Shower. Get Dressed. Attach Advisor button to lapel. Pass out Student buttons to ten students. Load fifty students on Kincaid bus. Ride to downtown Indianapolis. Herd the group into Conseco for the Opening Session of the 83rd  National FFA Convention. Music, feelings, emotions and memories. Now, I'm on the other side.

Can you imagine being there with us? Nine years ago, I wore the student button and the location was Freedom Hall in Louisville, Kentucky. Many a folks have experience National FFA Convention either as a member, college student (exhibitor) or an advisor. Some have the experience of both. This year was my first on the other side.

When I was a freshmen in high school, our school drive two suburbans on the nine or eleven hour trek to the sea of Blue and Gold. Miss Wimmer and Mr. Granzow guided us on tours, like that of Louisville Slugger museum, exposed us to new restaurants, like the Old Spaghetti Factory, and gifted us with the experience of attending sessions of the National FFA Convention. I still remember hearing Anne Knapke's retiring address with stories of astronomy and being kind to the person that was different in the college dormitory. I recall telling older students in our group that I thought I might want to become a national officer down the road (not in God's plans for me, though). They responded with encouraging words. The experience evoked emotion within me and set me on track for an FFA career full of friends, travel, competition, leadership and many life lessons. 

Now, I've just returned from attending my seventh National FFA Convention, this time as an advisor (well, almost). Traveling with a group of student from five other FFA chapters in the area, we departed for convention early Wednesday morning and returned late Saturday evening. No suburbans this time, we were on a tour bus. This allowed us as advisors to have a few less worries, and allowed the students to make a few more new friends. There were still tours, restaurants, and sessions, but this time, I wasn't there for myself. We were there to guide the students and help them to enjoy the experience. 

Entering into Conseco behind the students, memories came flooding back of my convention experiences as a greenhand, as a junior in high school, as a state officer, and as a former teammate of one of the national officers. Wow. Music, laughter, friends, retiring addresses, keynote speakers.  Memories made, for me. I could only imaging what memories would be made for my students this time and for years to come.  Before the session began that morning, I texted Mr. Granzow to tell him "It is more rewarding to bring students to experience this than it was to experience it myself... Thank you for everything." This is the other side.

Traveling in our group were two other students teachers, experiencing convention on the other side for the first time, like me. We had numerous opportunities to reflect and share our thoughts with one another about what it was like to be there, selflessly. I'm grateful to know the other side. I'm grateful to have experienced the other side for the first time with Jeremy and Justin. I'm grateful for all the ways in which FFA impacts the lives of students.  Aww-spiration.   

I Go Back

Many of us know the words to this song by Kenny Chesney. "I go back to a two-tone short bed Chevy, driving my first love out to the levy, living life with no sense of time. I go back to a fifty-yard line..." Tonight, that song has more relevance for me than it ever has

This evening was the annual Harvest Ball for the C-vale FFA Chapter. Costumes, musical chairs, bobbing for apples, hay-rack rides, a bonfire and smores about sums up the evening. The part I wasn't really prepared for before tonight was the memories that came flooding back from my own high school experience as I witnessed the personalities of my students come alive outside of the classroom. Not to mention two freshmen holding hands as they parted this evening, which caught me by surprise. I had no idea they were a couple. Only five years removed from my senior year, I am still trying to grasp what it is like to be in high school. Why? So I can better relate to my students. 

As I was parting ways with my cooperating teacher this evening after cleaning up, I mentioned that the event took me back to my high school days. "Makes us who we are," was her reply. Isn't that true?

I'm sure that my high school experience differs from many peoples. But at the same time, we all probably experienced some of the same things. I recall the classes, from English and biology, world history, American government, introduction to agriculture, chemistry and physics to agriculture business... each was an opportunity to learn something. I'm sure I did not see it that way at the time. I cannot recall any specific content I learned, while I might be able to describe some of the concepts and titles of books we read. I can remember the teachers, and how dedicated they were to helping students learn. (That's a whole other blog.)

I also remember the people; my friends, the nerds, the jocks, the druggies, the aggies, the churchy-kind, etc. Yup, even with only about 100 kids in the high school, we still had our clicks. I remember the older kids I looked up to, like Maria, Andrea, Kristin and Cecilia. I remember the kids that hardly any one ever talked to, like Matthew and Roberta. I remember many of us getting wrapped up in high school relationships. And I was one of those girls. 

As a freshmen, I started dating a junior. Our volleyball coach had a rule that you didn't start a relationship during volleyball season, and you didn't end a relationship during volleyball season. You stuck it out. Funny how the day we lost our last volleyball match of the season at regionals, that late October Tuesday, Aaron asked me at. Hmm. I think I was even still wearing my volleyball uniform. Oh to be young again, and as careless... the things that went through my mind, and what was important at the time... Aaron and I dated through February of my junior year - well over two years. He was at college, and when two people are that far away from each other, it is tough to keep a relationship going.

I have learned many a things since those naive days of high school relationships and social life. I can look back and see the lessons and realizations since then. The main thing I learned from dating Aaron is that I never wanted to date someone who loved fishing and hunting more than me. But you cannot tell those kinds of things to a high school student now. They essentially have to learn those lessons on their own. I see students blind to their situations. I want to help them. Oh to find a way without turning them away... 

"But like most things, after the truth upsets you, it has the potential to set you free."

How many times did my FFA advisor ask me why I was dating Aaron? How many times did he tell me I was too good for him? How many times did he said that if he were in high school again, I was the kind of girl he would date? (not in a creeper sort of way) He was right, but I did not want to see it then. But I don't regret the relationship.

Sure many high school students are doing the right things and experiencing harmless relationships that will teach them lessons for life. Other high school students are caught up in poorer, less than healthy situations. Until I have a better understanding of them, I am most likely not going to be able to reach them. This opportunity to reflect is helping me to be more aware of what a typical high school student really cares about. I needed that reminder. Their lives are being molded and shaped every day. And so is mine. Lord, help me to help them as much as you want me to.

How much PASSION do you have?

As I was walking down the hallway in C-Town today, I noticed the back of one of the athletic shirts. I think it was a football one. It said:

   Passion
   Passio'

To suffer

How much PASSION do you have?

I did not expect to find such a deep thought on the back of a football team t-shirt. Yet, if you think about, how cool is it what sports can instill in a person. To win takes discipline, practice, hard work, sacrifice - it takes some suffering. Do the students really think about a deeper meaning of the quote on the back of their shirts? Maybe not. Maybe. 

I also stumbled across this quote this evening:

"Teaching is not a profession, it is a passion." - Unknown

Hmm. So to win in teaching, to really make a difference in the lives of students is to suffer; hard work, long hours, discipline, practice, sacrifice. No wonder I get little me time and even less time to go spend with friends and family. But, it is the life I have chosen, and the life God has chosen for me. For the students, to help them become better people and productive members of society, for them I'm willing to suffer. I have PASSION for teaching.

Mother Teresa stated, "The most wasted gift is the gift of suffering." With the other two quotes in this blog, this quote takes on a bit of a different meaning for me than it has all year. Well, not so much a different meaning, but a new perspective towards the same meaning.  The thought that comes to my mind is, "How much are you willing to give?" Whether for a team or for a career, what are you willing to give? It's not so much counting the cost, but the willingness to freely give of yourself.

The FFA chapter t-shirts this year have the quote, "You make living by what you get. You make a life by what you give." (Winston Churchill). Too often we are concerned with what we are getting out of the deal or situation. Instead, we should focus on what we can give. Therefore, I ask, what are you giving your life to? How much PASSION do you have?

Any wonder why we call it Christ's PASSION? Aww-spiration.

"Death With A Purpose Gives Full Meaning to Life"

A big thanks to Trent Loos of LoosTales for sharing his message at the Southeast District FFA Greenhand Conference over a week ago. This particular quote caught my attention and spurred my thoughts to some deeper thinking. Of course, his message was geared towards agricultural practices that provide and use the food, fiber, and natural sources that make the world go round. More simple put, we've got to harvest the crops to feed to livestock (and people), and butcher the livestock to feed the world. There is a purpose to the death that occurs. 

My deeper thoughts go in the direction of faith, religion, and scripture, as well as how we live that out. John 12:24 goes like this:

"Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit."

I might be mistaken, but I'm certain that is a direct correlation to agriculture. Unless the seed, fruit, or plant dies - stops receiving or transporting nutrients from the soil and halts the process of converting sunlight to usable energy, called photosynthesis, the life cycle would never end, and never begin again. One plant or seed must die or order to produce more, to bear fruit. Agriculture is a cycle of life. Agriculture is also a vehicle by which we teach the cycle of life (another Trent Loos lesson from a time when he spoke at K-State...).

So it is with us. I don't mean in the literal sense (but I do), but rather in the spiritual sense. As we die to self, which could consist of discipline in exercising, diet, chores, homework, serving others, or whatever your fancy, we bear fruit for others. This semester I've opted not to have a tv in my living quarters. If there was one here, and I were spending time watching it, I know I would probably not be doing what I should be doing. I have students to teach, who need a student teacher that knows what she is doing (I'm learning...). Thus for my students, I don't watch tv. I do still get in a movie from time to time.

In 2009, I decided to give up chocolate. Yup. No chocolate for a whole year. I did really good, except for a couple of occasions. I started out doing this for myself - to build discipline. I figured if I could say no to something small, it would help me to say no to bigger things, including student involvement on campus. All in all, I did grow in the virtue of PRUDENCE. However, at some point in the year, I decided to add an intention or intentions to my giving up chocolate. As Catholics, we believe that we share in the sufferings of Christ when we willing chose to embrace the cross in our life. 

Colossians 1:24 "Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church, ..."

"Col. 1:24 - Paul rejoices in his sufferings and completes what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of His body. This proves the Catholic position regarding the efficacy of suffering. Is there something lacking in Christ's sufferings? Of course not. But because Jesus loves us so much, He allows us to participate in His redemptive suffering by leaving room in His mystical body for our own suffering. Our suffering, united with our Lord's suffering, furthers the work of His redemption."(www.scripturecatholic.com/suffering.html)

We, the Church, are the Body of Christ. We can suffer for one another (though without Christ, our suffering is incomplete). Christ was crucified before He rose from the death. The grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies before rising again and producing new wheat, or fruit. I rejoice in my sufferings (I try, I really do) for the good of the whole Catholic Church throughout the world, and the good of all humanity. What an aww-esome gift God gave to us - the gift of suffering. Next time you say no (to selfishness=death), say yes to offering it up for someone (love=purpose). God Bless!

Exactly Where I'm Supposed to Be

On a Saturday evening in late September, I'm sitting in the high school agricultural education classroom lesson planning. Nerd? I think so. Well maybe just a little. I want to follow up on my blog post from Wednesday. It seems my life has kind of taken a 180 degree turn in the last couple of days. And it's a great mental break from thinking about the classes I'm teaching.

Having lived in southeast Kansas for just over a month now, God has already enlightened me in many ways. We all know that hindsight is 20/20, at least when we can see the whole picture. As I look back on the content I've taught to my Introduction to Agriculture students, I can see how what I thought they should already know is not as realistic as it could be. Also, I can envision what needs to happen before Greenhand Conference four days from now.  Once we understand where we have been, it's easier to take strides forward, rather than baby steps.

My cooperating teacher is wonderful. She's an established teacher who knows the content well, has great rapport with her students, and knows what works in this environment and community.  What's the issue? In my three weeks of teaching, I've tried to teach her way, not my way. It was making me miserable. Trying to keep going and survive each day, I did not enough have the chance to step back and take a look at my situation. Time and time again, it seems, I re-learn the lesson to be myself. After receiving a sort of pep talk from my professor, my confidence sky rocketed and I began to have more fun, not just in front of students, but all around. I've laughed more in the last three days than I did in the two weeks prior it seems. Not to mention, my cooperating teacher has given me more freedom to teach our students in my style.

In listening to Fr. Robert Baron's homily for this weekend (www.wordonfire.org), he notes that we should ask ourselves "Why has God permitted me to have this wealth?" He is referencing Lazarus the beggar and the rich man - all that could be another post. I allowed myself to think deeper about the question he prompted. "Why has God permitted me to become a teacher?" He is using me as his instrument to make a positive difference in the lives of young people. But more importantly, I am His instrument for sharing His love with all those I meet. Granted, I'm not always the most charitable in the ways in which I educate others. That is something I need to work on.

Tangent: If you have ever read 7 Habits, I'm in aww of God at how re-reading that book in order to teach it is reminding me to apply these to my life, once again. At this point in time, particularly habits 1 and 5.

1. Be proactive - not reactive to my situation.

5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood - understand my students.

I apologize for the randomness that this post seems to be taking. It makes sense to me. Hopefully the pieces connect for you too. 

Finally, two prayers that are daily reminders to me of God's goodness. 

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next. Amen.

 Prayer from St. Theresa of the Child Jesus (St. Therese)

May today there be peace within. May you trust your highest power 

that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget 

the infinite possibilities born of faith. May you use those gifts that you 

have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. 

May you be content knowing you are a child of God. 

Allow His presence to settle in your bones and 

allow your soul to sing, dance, praise, and love.

It is there for each and every one of you. 

I am exactly where God wants me to be - where I am supposed to be.