Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I Don't Understand, But I'm Grateful for This Feeling

Do you ever just get a feeling that you are being used as God's instrument, even though you may not even understand a lick of what's going below the surface of those around you? That's how I feel about my experiences today...

First, it was wonderful to attend the Allen County Community College Women in Agriculture Conference. It made for a great last day before Thanksgiving break, and I think the girls we took really enjoyed it and got something out of the sessions they attended. For me personally, it was getting to see a former national officer facilitate a high estrogen large group session. This was followed by sitting down with a sixth of those same young ladies and getting to some deeper questions. 

As I observed these events transpiring, I couldn't help but think back to the time when this individual and I were contending to become the Kansas national officer candidate and all the events that have happened in our lives since then. In one of my reflective moments this morning, I realized the true reason I hoped to become a national officer back then - to gain the training and facilitation skills in hopes of better connecting with and influencing the lives of young people. It was a selfish reason. I wanted to have the skills and earn the recognition. Reality: there is no way I could have left home for a whole year to travel across the country visiting high schools and facilitating conferences. It's just not in me. Besides, this person did and continues to do a much better job at such things, and keeps a humility about themselves, much better than I ever could. Praise God for knowing more about what both of us truly wanted and were capable of doing or handling. In order to gain those skills I thought I might obtain through working for National FFA, I realize now, I will just have to apply myself and really take note of how I interact with my students. 

Second, making the peaceful 160 mile trek from southeast Kansas to my home high school to watch the school play. My travels were quiet and allowed me some good time to reflect. Watching the play brought back a few fond memories of play practice and old high school times. The cast did a really good job this evening. It was also enjoyable to see and converse with many members of the community in which I grew up. I'll admit I've kind of forgotten what it is like to know almost everyone in the gymnasium.

Another outcome of my travels this evening was my sending a text message to an old high school friend of mine. As former fellow CYO members, God is at the base of our friendship, even if we haven't talked or seen each other in several months or maybe even over a year. Some how, our texting quickly turned to the many blessings in my life and how out of touch with God this person is. As I continued my attempts of being encouraging about getting back in touch with God, thankfully, this person did not just tell me to be quiet or push me aside. In reality I don't know how they took all my comments, but I hope and pray that I am being an instrument of God in their life. It would be much easier to meet up with them and have a life talk, but I'll have to settle with text messages for the time being.

Finally, it is good to be home with family. During Thanksgiving break, I shall not cease to praise God and be thankful for the abundant blessings of my life. What better way to give God thanks than celebrating Mass and the Eucharist. The word eucharistia is Greek for thanksgiving. Aww-spiration.

No comments:

Post a Comment