Self-Surrender

"God has made our hearts for absolute love, absolute generosity, nothing less will satisfy. To become a monk is to sign a blank cheque and to let the Lord write the amount he demands of us. Our happiness is proportionate to our self-surrender."

St. Michael's Abbey - source

 

Rend Your Hearts

If you attended mass on Ash Wednesday, you probably recall the hearing the following phrase in the first reading from Joel 2:13. "Rend your hearts, not your garments,and return to the LORD, your God."

This past weekend, I was blessed with some time to take up some reading in the Catechism. A feat I aspire to, but know that it shall take me some time. The headings of the few paragraphs I went through included, "God alone IS", "God is truth", "God is love". 

These two events have put some thought into my mine (imagine that), that helped me to be more docile to the Holy Spirit present throughout my day today. If you have not yet paused long enough to appreciate the continuity and solidarity of Catholicism, this might help you. The antiphons for the canticles of Liturgy of the Hours correspond with the daily mass Gospel readings. I had begun to notice this especially on Sundays, but never so much during the week days as I have of late.

First and foremost, this morning: "The Lord said: Peter, I do not tell you to forgive only seven times, but seventy times seven." Blessed to have some time to reflect (I literally asked Mamma Mary to yank me up out of bed by the arm this morning to help me overcome the temptation of crawling back under the covers for more warmth and rest.), I immediately thought of how much more merciful I should be with my students. I should be less quick to be irritated by their high school tactics. That became my prayer throughout most of the morning. Left unguarded just before lunch, I let my agitation show. One of my students decided it would be fun to lock himself in my office with my keys... His comment later was, "I only wanted to pretend to be a teacher for a little bit." He wasn't the first student to play teacher today, either. Which in hindsight, I find pretty humorous, yet flattering.

Another blessing of today was mass at St. Joseph's with Fr. David and the Catholic College Center group. In his brief homily, Father touched upon the story line found in the book of Daniel, where three Jews paid no attention to the demand of the king for all to bow down in worship of a gold statue at the cue of musical instruments (admittingly, I don't believe I've ever personally read through the book of Daniel until today). They were thrown into the white hot furnace. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (names were changed when taken by the king of Babylon - and what names they are...) were not burned. Today's reading begins:

"Azariah stood up in the fire and prayed aloud:" -Daniel 3:25

He stood up in the fire, not burning, to pray. (Here I suggest reading Daniel 3:25, 34-43, at least). "Lord, remember your mercy. We are sinful. We are slaves in a foreign land and have no place to offer sacrifice...(summary-mine)... But with contrite heart and humble spirit let us be received;..." Father continued to explain this passage to our meager crowd. My take-away was that while it is good to come to a place of worship to pray, if it does not invoke within us the practice of virtue, what good does it do? (I mean no disregard to the Eucharist, the source and summit of our faith.) Here I think, "A clean heart create for me, God; renew in me a steadfast spirit." (Ps 51:12) and "For you do not desire sacrifice; a burnt offering you would not accept." (Ps 51:18). Father tied one more wonderful link to a recent scripture story we should be familiar with from this past Sunday; that of the woman at the well, when:

Jesus said to her,
“Believe me, woman, the hour is coming
when you will worship the Father
neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem.
You people worship what you do not understand;
we worship what we understand,
because salvation is from the Jews.
But the hour is coming, and is now here, when true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and truth;
and indeed the Father seeks such people to worship him.
God is Spirit, and those who worship him
must worship in Spirit and truth.”

I can only soak in the beauty that comes with understanding (awe-spiration). I was rather confused when hearing that line on Sunday. So as we continue on our Lenten journeys, recognized our need for God, let us turn to Him who IS love, Spirit and truth. No matter where you are able to worship or pray, may God find favor with your contrite heart and humble spirit. 

"My sacrifice, God, is a broken spirit; God, do not spurn a broken, humbled heart." (Ps 51:19)

Too Serious

One of my friends keeps telling me that I take myself too seriously. I know they are right.  So, if you want to help me relax and enjoy some recreation some time, be sure to look me up. 

God Bless! 

Rest And Recreation

 God . . . rested from all His work.  Genesis 2:2 NIV

 Listen: "God . . . rested from all His work."  How come God took time off but you don't?  Think maybe you know something He doesn't?  Think again!  Most of us take ourselves far too seriously!  We dress up in business suits and speak in carefully modulated voices.  We avoid missing deadlines (as if the world will end if we're late), or making a mistake, or needing to ask someone else for assistance.  We get caught in the trap of only focusing on the next acquisition, customer order, completed contract or promotional achievement.  And what's the result?  We become rigid, legalistic and brittle. We lose our sense of humor, our willingness to ask for forgiveness, and our ability to extend grace to others.  One of the best ways of keeping perspective on what's truly important is to make sure that we leave room for rest and recreation in our lives.  What do you do for fun?  Nothing?  That's not good!  Rest and recreation help restore your creativity, fuel your vision, and bring balance to your work-lopsided world.

 This is usually one of the most neglected areas of our lives.  We think we don't have enough time for fun.  Wrong!  You don't have enough time without it!  No one on their deathbed wishes for more time to file reports, empty in-boxes, grade papers, or attend meetings.  Without exception we wish we'd taken more time to stroll in the park, tickle our children on the living room floor, or enjoy that family holiday we always talked about but never got to.  The trouble with "tomorrow" is - it never comes!

Make me Content With all my Discontents

Stations of the Cross is one of my favorite prayers, in that it allows us to meditate upon the Passion of Christ, the greatest act of Love the world has ever seen. While there are many versions available, one I like is "Everyone's Way of the Cross" by Clarence Enzler. In fact, I found the ISBN# and ordered a few copies for myself. After all, it is not a rare occasion to be with a group of friends on a Friday during Lent, seeking to pray stations, without any books. 

This morning, as a group in Tampa, KS prayed stations, I reveled in the beauty of the combination of scripture from the New Testament as well as the Old Testament in the variation we were praying. A love letter from God...

But in this particular variation of which I own a few copies, there is a particular phrase in the reflection of the third station that has had some significance in my life as well as a few of my close friends. 

Station Three - Jesus Falls

Christ speaks: The God who made the universe, 

                          and holds it in existence by his will alone, 

                          becomes a man, too weak to bear a piece of timber's weight.

                          How human in his weakness is the Son of God.

                          My Father willed it thus. 

                          I could not be your model otherwise.

                          If you would be my other self, 

                          you must also accept without complaint

                          your human frailties.

I reply:            Lord Jesus, how can I refuse?

                          I willingly accept my weaknesses, 

                          my irritations and my moods, 

                          my headaches and fatigue, 

                          all my defects of body, mind and soul.

                          Because they are your will for me, 

                          these "handicaps" of my humanity, 

                          I gladly suffer them.

                 Make me content with all my discontents, 

                 but give me strength to struggle after you. 

Make me content with all my discontents, but give me strength to struggle after you. Sounds like an excellent short prayer in this Lenten season. 

Having just returned from a spring break trip headed south to Dallas to visit some friends and then to Houston to see some cousins, it is ironic to return from warmer weather with a cold. I willingly accept my weaknesses, my irritations, headaches and fatigue... my running nose.

There is something else that I also willingly accept. I am content, it seems, with living out of a bag more so than living in my own home. Here are my bags from this week's trip, yet to be unpacked. At first, this used to bother me. I was discontent with my contentedness of having only a few belongings to carry with me where I traveled. After two summers of such - one with Totus Tuus camp and the other with Prayer and Action - there is not much left for me to desire. Numerous weekends between weeks of teaching find me on the road to see framily members, attend faith events, or even a simple trip home to visit my family. For a short time, I was tired of always packing a bag to go some where. My wheels don't get very much rest. I keep my toiletries travel bag packed with spare deodorant, toothbrush and paste, as other essentials. I'm becoming more content with the realities that are the desires of my heart. I am content with my discontented-ness of owning numerous belongings. I am content with my contentedness of having less and less all the time. (Hold me true to this each time you see me.)

At the first FOCUS conference I attending in January of 2008, one of the many quotes that stuck with me was:

Are you content with being discontent? Are you comfortable being uncomfortable?

Are you discontent with being content? Are you uncomfortable being comfortable?

Apply this question to any area of your life. Take it to adoration. Allow Christ to enlighten your mind about such things. Pray that Christ will give us the strength to struggle after Him. 

Pax.

Achieving Holiness

Just a brief excerpt from Chapter 21 of the Imitation of Mary:

"God has allowed many people to be unhappy in this world so that they might achieve holiness through their suffering and you through your charity.

Be read to give all the help you can. Delay always means the loss of some of love's merit. 

Let your love be generous and extend as far as possible.

To limit the service you offer your neighbor is to evade rather than carry out the duties of love."

What ever your situation or where ever you may be at this moment in time, it is exactly where God wants you to be. Whether realizing you are prolonging your vocation or learning to appreciate another's, whether in need of charity or able to provide charity. God's purposes are two-fold or three-fold or endless-fold. I mean that you never know the full purpose and repercussions (positive or negative) of your responding to the promptings of God's grace.

Great book. I highly recommend it. Peace and Blessings in Christ!

Lent - Resources

What you have done for the least of my brothers, you have done for me.

(or url at end of post)

 This is a video put out by Regnum Christi several years ago. I've kept a link of it on my facebook profile. It is very fitting for today's Gospel Reading.

Reflections on The Sacred Liturgy - These reflections by Fr. Tom Hoisington are another great Lenten resource.

http://www.regnumchristi.org/english/multimedia/RepdeMedios/watch_fullscreen.phtml?lc_movie=http://legrc.org/regnum_db/archivos_db/whatifvideo_practice.flv

Enjoy. Have a Blessed day!

Playing to Win or Playing Not to Lose

I can remember several close high school basketball games where my teammates and I took on the mentality of playing not to lose, instead of playing to win. It might take a moment of thought, but when you let it sink it, it makes quite a bit of sense, and we can apply it to many aspects of our lives. It could be similarly compared to doing the bare minimum to get by. 

As a teacher, I could be playing to not lose by scrapping together half-hearted lessons and having only enough authority with my students to catch their attention for about half the class period. Some days feel like this. If I were playing to win, I would be putting in an extraordinary amount of hours beyond what I do already and have each lesson scripted out down to the transitions between activities. 

As a daughter and sister, I could play to win by calling up my parents more often (say two or three times a week) and letting them know what all is happening where I am an hour away. I could be calling a different sibling once a week and catching up on how they are doing. I say could be, because I don't put out the effort to do so at the present. 

As a friend, I could talk to my friends not only when I need a helping hand or would like to ask for a favor, or will be in the area in the near future. I have room for growth in this area as well. 

Spiritually, I am afraid of falling from grace. In college, I was blessed with the opportunity to attend mass every day if I wanted or was given the grace to desire to do so. It was wonderful. The adoration chapel was about 10 blocks away and I frequently found myself there numerous times each week, sometimes for 10 minutes, sometimes for 2 hours. Walks to and from campus and across campus found me with my decade rosary in hand, reciting Hail Marys between the smiles and hellos of fellow students. My life was ingrained in prayer, and that in itself was a gift of God's Grace, and not of my own doing. 

In Inman, America, life is much different. I've gone from participating in every Catholic event possible to barely catching an extra daily mass each week. Mostly because my schedule doesn't allow for it, and the closest Catholic Church is almost a 20-minute drive away. I fear I am falling from devotion. 

I recall reading some where, I think in the Imitation of Christ, that when one fears falling from devotion or falling from grace, they should continue on the way towards Christ and devotion. Oh, but I am so weak and so worldly in my struggles to struggle after Christ, carrying the cross that is mine.

2 Corinthians 12:6-10

⁶ About this person  I will boast, but about myself I will not boast, except about my weaknesses.

Although if I should wish to boast, I would not be foolish, for I would be telling the truth. But I refrain, so that no one may think more of me than what he sees in me or hears from me ⁷because of the abundance of the revelations. Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated.

⁸ Three timesI begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me,

⁹ but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.

¹⁰ Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong. 

I'm so very glad it is Lent, that we may enter into the desert with Christ. 

From The Imitation of Mary: "When God wants to teach divine lessons to a soul and speak to her heart, He leads her into the desert (Hos 2:16). 

May you find yourself in the desert with Christ this Lenten season in your praying, fasting, and alms-giving, in preparation for our greatest celebration: EASTER! He surely has a divine lesson to teach your soul. We all have many Lenten seasons of deserts to endure, as there is much for our human nature to learn.

When you feel like you are only doing enough to get by and fear you cannot make it through your declared Lenten observance, pray a short, "Blessed be God," for in your weakness, He is strong. We learn that we cannot rely upon ourselves, but that we need our dear Heavenly Father.  Awe-Spiration. Mamma Mary keep you.

Apologies that it has been so long since I've posted a legitimate blog.

Fast to Feast

Lent should be more than a time for fasting.  It should also be a joyous season of feasting.  Lent is a time to fast from certain things and to feast on others.  It is a season in which we should:

Fast from judging others....................Feast on the Christ dwelling in them,

Fast from apparent darkness............Feast on the reality of light,

Fast from ill thoughts..........................Feast on the healing power of God,

Fast from words that pollute.............Feast on phrases that purify,

Fast from discontent..........................Feast on gratitude,

Fast from anger..................................Feast on patience,

Fast from pessimism..........................Feast on optimism,

Fast from worry..................................Feast on Divine Order,

Fast from complaining.......................Feast on appreciation,

Fast from negatives...........................Feast on affirmation,

Fast from pressure.............................Feast on unceasing prayer,

Fast from hostility..............................Feast on non-resistance,

Fast from bitterness...........................Feast on forgiveness,

Fast from self-concern.......................Feast on compassion for others,

Fast from personal anxiety...............Feast on Eternal Truth,

Fast from discouragement................Feast on hope,

Fast from facts that depress.............Feast on truths that uplift,

Fast from lethargy.............................Feast on enthusiasm,

Fast from suspicion............................Feast on truth,

Fast from shadows of sorrow............Feast on sunlight of serenity,

Fast from idle gossip..........................Feast on purposeful silence.

Harvesters

Another one of those short reflections worth sharing. Very relevant to TEC.

Trust God's Timing!

A grain of wheat . . . if it is buried . . . sprouts and reproduces . . . many times.  John 12:24 TM

Wheat can't be planted and harvested in the same season.  In order for it to "sprout and reproduce" the seed must be buried deep in the ground where nobody sees it.  There it undergoes a complete transformation as it moves through the seasons, being nourished by the soil, the rain and the sun.  Similarly, God's purposes for your life can't be rushed.  You can only carry them, let them develop, and then harvest them whenever He says it's time.  Gestation is part of every life cycle.  The only difference here is, you don't know exactly how or when it'll come to life, but deep within you know it will.

When God plants a dream in your heart, He starts preparing you for its fulfillment.  He strengthens your character.  He deepens your spiritual roots.  But because we don't understand His timing we grow frustrated and try to rush things.  It may be weeks, months, or even years from when you first sense something stirring within you until the time you actually give birth to it.

Are you carrying a seed that can't be harvested right away?  One that needs to be nurtured and processed before coming to fruition?  If so, don't let it die by trying to bring it to birth prematurely.  Instead, trust God's timing.  Remember, there's not one instance in scripture where He was ever late.  In the meantime, work on preparing your heart.  How?  By losing those attitudes and relationships that hinder the development of your seed and the harvest it will ultimately produce.

Give Thanks in All Circumstances.

Develop An Attitude Of Gratitude

 Give thanks in all circumstances.  2 Thessalonians 5:18 NIV

 If you tend to gravitate toward what is negative in life rather than what is positive, begin praying: "Lord, even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm goes off, thank You Lord that I can hear; there are many who are deaf.  Even though I close my eyes as long as possible against the morning light, thank You Lord that I can see; there are many who are blind.  Even though I put off the effort to rise, thank You Lord that I have the strength to get up; there are many who are bedridden.  Even though the first hour of my day is hectic when socks are lost, toast is burned and tempers are short, thank You Lord for my family; there are many who are all alone.  Even though our breakfast table never looks like the pictures in the magazines and the menu at times is unbalanced, thank You Lord for the food we have; there are many who are hungry.  Even though my job is sometimes monotonous, thank You for the opportunity to work; there are many who are unemployed.  Even though I complain from time to time and wish my circumstances were different, thank You for the gift of life; there are people in the graveyard who would gladly change places with me.  Even though I make mistakes, stumble and fall, thank You for the grace to get up again; there are many who didn't make it.  Thank You Lord for all these blessings - and 101 others that I've taken for granted.  In Jesus’ name - Amen."

I take no credit for this. Just thought it was worth sharing. Peace in Christ!