Being Childlike

One of the many lessons learned while spending my five weeks with the Missionaries of Charity was being childlike. The virtue of being childlike is that of obedience, or in the case of the consecrated religious, it is a vow they take. There is grace to be had in obedience. 

The homeless shelter that the MCs operate is a night shelter for women and children. One evening, when it was time for lights out and the ladies continued to talk, Sr. Marie opted to give the ladies a catechesis lesson in conforming ourselves to God's will. Responding to a question one of the ladies asked, she explained that when we have a question we should take it to prayer, study scripture, etc. But ultimately, she explained how when we obey, there is grace. Knowing now there is grace in obedience, there were numerous occasions where I felt very childlike, some times because of my poor choices, other times because of my lack of understanding, and others because I was given the grace to recognize that I am child of God. 

One evening, when I was still learning the schedule, I opted to pray Vespers by myself. Fortunately, Sr. Mercita noticed what I was doing and said in a stern but loving voice, "Divine Office will be at 7:30." She continued to look at me until I closed my breviary. Leaving, I felt like I had been kicked out of the chapel. A short while later, I found myself outside reading Abandonment to Divine Providence. It was a small change of heart, but the prayers with Srs. proved to be even more fruitful than it would have been by myself. And I needed to read from that book that evening. 

Any time I had to carry out or live out the rules of the shelter in regards to how I served the ladies was tough, as the rules weren't my own and I didn't understand the reasoning behind some of them. I was chastised a little and in a loving way for returning cell phones to the ladies five minutes too soon. Other times, I just forgot to remind the ladies of the rules, especially in regards to clean-up, laundry and dishes, because I wasn't yet used to them. 

On many occasions, I felt like a little kid when interacting with, serving beside, or talking to one of the MC sisters. They themselves have such childlike humility and obedience, one can't help but to experience it through them. Whether they were explaining something new to me, or something I had already heard from another sister.

From my journal: "I was such a child this morning. After setting out breakfast for the ladies and having heard the doorbell ring twice, as I was sweeping the floor of my room, I said in my mind, 'if mass time has changed, someone better tell me.' A short while later, Sr. Marie was calling my name. As I got to the chapel, I looked at my schedule to realize that the Wednesday morning mass is always at 6:30 instead of 7:00. Humbled."  God responded to my request, though I'm not so sure I deserved it. 

Another excerpt: "I'm such a little kid. I'm so eager to share myself with the sisters in many ways. This evening, for instance, I was responding to a letter that had been written to me on a Buca di Beppo menu, to which had been afixed a picture of the person's family and a Blessed Teresa of Calcutta holy card with a note "Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, guide Jackie." I had opted to spend that portion of my evening in the sacristy, the quietest place I could find in the shelter, honestly with hopes of being able to show one of the sisters should they happen to walk in..."

One of the volunteers with whom I spent one of my Fridays expressed to me the beauty of the vow of obedience. "To be told to do something, to stop what you are doing and go do it..." In some ways it is a freedom to not have to make your own decisions. Vita, the volunteer, also expressed how we should be obedient to the sisters when we are at the shelter or the soup kitchen and working with, for, and beside them. 

At one point in my experience, I was the pester-some child, asking God, "Why? But why? How? But How?" Have you even been or seen that little kid asking, "Why daddy, why?"

One Thursday evening, a couple of times I attempted to go to the chapel, but the door was locked. Thinking there had to be some reason, I decided I would not say night prayer with sisters, but would go ahead a get some sleep. Fortunately, Sr. Romero had come to give a new set of sheets to one of the ladies, during which she asked if I was coming to prayer, and invited me to join them for adoration from 11-12 that night. "Going to the chapel, I felt like I was-had been childish with a loved one, and was coming to make up or admit my fault." 

"How do you give Jesus love to love? By your confidence in Him." - I Believe in Love by Fr. Jean C. J. d'Elbee

"I think little children pleases their parents as much when they sleep as when they are awake." - St. Therese of Lisieux

"When we say: Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven, we are asking him to make us obedient so that his will may be done in us as it is done in heaven by his angels."

Finally, I leave you with this prayer, in hopes that you, too, will grow in childlikeness and obedience. 

St. Therese of the Child Jesus and the Holy Face: Teach us to follow your way of confidence and trust. Help us to realize that a Father's love watches over us each day of our lives. Give us your own faith and trust, so that we may walk in darkness as in the light, holding fast to the way of love, knowing as you did, that everything is grace.