Lent :)

Happy Ash Wednesday! Isn't this an oxy-moron? Shouldn't we be sorrowful about the season of lent? If we're not at least a bit sorrowful, we are probably dancing around the edge of the desert, not going through the heart of the desert, as suggested by Fr. Bernie.  Challenge yourself.

I'm trying something new this blog post.  As many wonderful thoughts as I have on my mind at this moment, I'm just going to share one cool resource with you that might help you to get the most out of the liturgical season of Lent.  As our youth minister encouraged us, be sure to find one thing to commit to whole-heartedly, not five or six things half-heartedly. If you faulter, do not get down on yourself, but repent and try again. "God loves it when you fail, because you tried, and you are humbled."


While attending the Kansas Catholic College Student Convention (KCCSC) this past weekend, we heard some great speakers who helped to renew our faith and take a second look about how we are growing in our relationship with God and with each other. Todd Lemieux was the keynote Saturday evening. Todd is striving for Christ and has challenged many people to take on the "Sainthood Project".   We should all be striving to become saints. It will most likely cost us more than we are betting on, but it will be worth it. Here is a plan for working on becoming a saint, from Todd. We recieved a preface to these, as he listed them near the end of his time speaking.


1. Be concerned. When you are concerned about something, you work on it. If you find yourself thinking you have things figured out, think again.
2. Be determined. Drive will seperate you.
3. Be motivated (there are many issues you can be motivated about).
4. Be committed to prayer - daily. Not talking to God is like being in a marriage and not talking to your spouse. The more we pray, the more time we have.
5. Be humble. You are not the source of your holiness, God is. 
6. Be specific about how you want to grow spiritually, i.e., 5 minutes of Lectio Divina daily.
7. Be persevering. Post this list and check yourself once a week. Meet with a spiritual director montly. Don't give up.  Pope John Paul II and Mother Theresa persevered.
8. Be sacremental - recieving the Eucharist and Reconciliation often. 


God is good.


 

Drawing A Blank

I'm over due... Over due to share. Over due to write another blog. But, I'm drawing a blank. I have lots of little tidbits rumbling around in my head, but not many that will fit well together. Last time, I wrote about true purpose, and that the true purpose of my blog is to share my experiences of spiritual discernment. Perhaps this is where God wants me to begin.

I thank God that I am not the author of the story of humanity. I could not come up with any thing near as moving, touching, amazing, loving, humbling, (etc.) as our Creator can.  The way in which life happens for each of us, is beyond our control. When we accept this and turn that control over to God (who is really in control already, but waiting for our permission), amazing things will happen. 

Where does my story of discernment begin? I would suppose at birth. At this point, it is all God and my parents. I, Jackie, born and raised on a diversified farm in northern Marion county am the fifth of six kids. If there was ever a black sheep of the family, I would be it. Now I know, better put, I have learned, that we do not grow until we stop comparing ourselves to others. I think this situation is okay. Here are the comparisons: 

Siblings                                                       Me

Blue eyes                                             Brown eyes turned green

Taller than 5'10"                                 Only 5'6"

Born in the first half of the year       Born in the fall

Loads of common sense                     Greater knack for "book sense"

Never left the US (cept for Laura)   Been to Spain and Israel

Vo-Tech or Community College       Straight to K-State

Home bodies (for the most part)     Fair amount of traveling (in KS)

In the real-world a.k.a. working      Still in school

Why do I make this list? (You may be even more unique than I am when compared to your siblings.)  Well, even though I know that God has a unique story that he writes for each and every person, I cannot help but consider my great uncle, Fr. Paul. Yep. He is a priest, currently retired, but a priest all the same. That is his Vocation. Before I continue with Fr. Paul's story, let us establish a point. We are all called to the natural Vocation of wife and mother, or for men, husband and father. Some of us are called to the supernatural Vocation, where we live the natural in a supernatural way. By this I mean religious brothers, sisters, or priests.  Now, I am not sure how theologically sound I am when I say, priests are married to the Church; brothers, I'm not sure, and religious sisters are Brides of Christ. My point is that their Vocation is supernatural. 

Back to Fr. Paul. Someone once asked my grandpa if they always knew that his brother was going to become a priest. The response given was, no, but he was always different. 

He was always different. When I hear this, I immediately begin to think, "So, what is God calling me to?" Instead of freaking out, over time I have come to appreciate the discernment process. If you happened to read any of the link I posted last time, you know that the first few paragraph explain the discernment process, not as exploration of religious orders or diocesan retreats, but a conversation with our Creator. Here are the words used:

"The big problem with discernment, at least as many understand it, is this: it often turns what should be a vital conversation with God, the experience of the breath of God on one’s life, the stirring of our deepest and noblest aspirations, into a cold examination and spiritless calculation of risk, preferences and rewards, and the ceaseless rummaging for signs."   http://www.adorationsisters.org/called.html

Wow. I needed to go back and read that again. No I don't know yet what God is calling me to.  I am asking. But am I listening?

For drawing a blank, God sure has given me some words to share the beginning of my experience. I am ever in aww of our awesome God. 

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us.

True Purpose

I do my best to live each and everyday with purpose. Today many students in Manhattan, KS returned to classes to proceed with their education, or perhaps better stated as their quest for truth and purpose in life.   

A mentor of mine kept a blog over the past year. I really don't know for sure when she started, but I just read her last blog, which stated blogging had helped her to find focus and become a better writer, amongst other aspirations. And it stated that she would not be continuing to blog in 2010, but rather focus on spending time with people, and making some changes that would help her to better live life, to live with purpose and truth.  

Now if you have been reading my blog, you'll note that in two months I have only blogged three (four?) times. It is strange for me to blog two days in a row, but there are a few thoughts on my heart that I wish to share. 


On one note I took the strengthsfinder test today and found out some new things about myself, which will help me to live with greater purpose.  Knowing our strengths, we can work to improve ourselves, not settle for mediocrity. To never settle for mediocrity was a challenge given to me almost two years ago by Kurt.

My friend, Torie, stated this week that she chooses to surround herself with people from whom she can continue to grow and learn. Taking that thought into perspective that she keeps me around. I believe it also important to point out we can learn from each and every person who comes into our lives.
On that note, another friend from high school, Seth, challenged me to be a woman of conviction, which I hope I am. But this thought process can take me on a tangent that would not get me to my purpose.


What is my purpose? The idea for me to start my own blog was placed in my mind well over a year ago. Yes, I am often that slow to responding to God. The purpose for my blog at the time? To assist young woman (and perhaps some young men) in spiritual discernment, by sharing my own story. I slowly seem to be coming around to the true purpose of what my blog is to be. For now I leave you with this.


http://www.adorationsisters.org/index.html


This is a link to a website that helped my first consider what it meant to truly discern God's will for my life. This phrase in posted in my bathroom: "I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends, they are always there to guide me, I think of them as friends." For so many friends of mine have been angels pointing me in the right direction. My loyal friend Julie introduced me to the Pink Sisters, also known as the Holy Spirit Adoration Sisters, after she visited them. Because I knew little about the order, I went searching for them on the internet to find out more, and found this page. But that is not really even the beginning of the wonderful ways in which God has worked in my life. Much more to come at another time. 


God is good.

A True Friend Sees You as the Wonderful Person God Created You to Be.

Today, I was blessed to spend some time with a few really close friends. If you have heard the phrase, "Friends are friends forever, if the Lord is the Lord of them," then you know the power of true friendship. In one way, these last few days have been going away party for the member of our group who will be studying abroad in Rome of all places. In another way, it has been a similar togetherness that we experienced at the beginning of the fall semester. We support each other in faith, for that is our common bond. About of dozen of us, we represent at least six different colleges, not all in Kansas.  We like to dance (swing and two-step are our favorites), chat, and pray whether a rosary, mass, adoration, or simply the grace before meals - and of course, we like to eat. Still, our Catholic faith is the core of our togetherness. 

Christmas break has provided each of us with opportunity for renewal whether physically, emotionally, socially, and certainly not least, spiritually. I really notice this when I have the chance to talk one-on-one with some of these amazing individuals. We are not afraid to be real with each other. We may go three to four months without seeing each other, but our connectedness does not hinder us from seeking truth and honoring one another. 

Saturday morning, I was blessed to spend three hours with one of these close friends. What I really respect about this person was their honesty and concern to help all in our group grow. As we often look to each other for support, we are willing to point it out if someone is being led astray. A particular comment from this person helped me to see how much of a worldly perspective I was taking on some things, especially classes and my education. This was largely a response to one of my (few) blogs posted near the end of a challenging semester. 

At this point, I must note that blogging has, in a way, helped me to be more human, or in another term, vulnerable. I mentioned in my last blog not really being perfect, even though I sometimes pretend to be. I struggle much like the next person, just perhaps in a different way. Yet, also, because I am most often a peaceable person, you may not know that just from hanging around me from time to time. To let myself come through in my blog may show a side of me that some people have never experienced.  

Coming back to my Saturday morning breakfast experience, my friend stated (a) that it was really good to know that I struggle with things, too, and (b) that my perspective is flawed, or that they disagreed. Let me explain point (b) as I think I have already addressed point (a). Society teaches us to pursue comfort, material and monetary items. To many people, money is everything.  The education that my friend is getting, rather, teaches that we should seek truth, and in seeking truth we will eventually find happiness. In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis states, "When we seek comfort we find nothing, but when we seek truth, it is there that we find comfort." (paraphrased from another friend). Replace the word comfort with anything, except for truth, and you will only find nothing. Instant gratification, maybe - but how long with that last? And at what cost does it come? 


We are all called to find truth and apply reason to all that we do. Life is not just about getting good grades so we can get a good job, and maybe impact someone along the way. Life is NOT about selfishness, or what is right for you or right for me. (That's called relativism - we won't go there this time.)  My dear friend shed some light upon my perspective, and that in itself has given me some renewal, amongst many other blessings this Christmas break.  


I end with this: (NAB) John 8:32 "If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." In reflecting on how this verse applies not only to this blog, but to so many areas of my life, I am left in aww and inspired - aww-spiration. God is good.